the real fa cup

Match Report

Summer Holidays

Ahhh, the English summer, the smack of leather on willow, double-decker buses, Cliff Richardsss and some early season football? Dr Billyo visits The Thrilling Fields of Tooting.

Penfold! Shhhh!

FA Vase, Chas & Dave, Darryl Hannah, ice cream van, Bovril, one (no, two) sendings off, six goals and some to and fro. Smashing. VCD Athletic 3 – 3 Tunbridge Wells

Stand Up, If You Hate The Pig!

Bath 1-3 Daggers: A rant about the offside rule. A pig, not as annoying as Chelsea. A perma-tanned old midfielder. And when he says ‘rant over’, it’s not true … Simon Field at Twerton Park.

Blyth’s Bogie Team

Blyth Spartans 0-2 Gateshead. Conference high flyers make light of their North East rivals, Jon Shaw tormentor in chief. Andy Hudson at Croft Park.

An Afternoon Of Indecision

Brentford 1-0 Basingstoke Town: “… Ron Noades was self-appointed manager of the team, which sounds even more ridiculous as I write this than it seemed at the time …”


FA Cup stalemate at Oakside. Redbridge 0-0 Oxford City. The Cup’s lowest-ranked remaining side live to fight another day. And they nearly nicked it.

Harem Scarem

Leatherhead 2-3 Sutton United. Classic cup tie goes to extra time: banana skin, goals, silly red cards, saves, dubious penalties, chewed fingers and some morons leaving a poised cup tie with five minutes to go. Idiots.

No Sweet Heaven

No Sweet Heaven for Hebburn as Heed Progress: Gateshead 3-0 Hebburn Town. Andy Hudson reflects on some Northern League heads held high.

Dollys Faxed At The Axe

Rushed pub choices, unwelcome halloween ephemera, Elton John, fisticuffs and ‘cheaper than the Bescot’. Chris Maddock on Lancaster 0-3 FC Halifax.

Burnham 2-5 Bishops Stortford

Ulrika Jonsson, Sir John Betjeman, Sid James, The Gore, Ian Walker and THAT hair, Geoff Hurst-a-like and bukake. Nope, we have no idea how Stuart Fuller does it either but it’s all in there!

The Emperor & His Cup

Michael Hudson opens up a new avenue for therealfacup, FA Cups from around the world! The Emperor’s Cup. J-League holders, Nagoya, take on 4th tier Suzuka.

Non League Day
Bobby Robson Foundation