the real fa cup

Preview & Ossie Watch!



Let’s put this in context a little bit, when the bulk of the weekend’s cup matches get underway they will be vying for attention with the Premier League kick off. £750 is the bounty for getting to the next round, roughly equivalent to 30 seconds worth of quality John Terry playing time. I kid you not. If JT plays 52 games this season, his wages will be nearly £1500 per minute of actual playing time.

So who’s going to get their mitts on this massive bag of cash? We couldn’t possibly run our eye over all 203 games in a Joe Cole-sized package such as this so let’s pick out a few, maybe you’ll want to pop down and see one?

At the time of writing, the FA Cup itself would appear to be getting its first outing of the season at Hertford Town on Friday evening. It is allegedly being escorted to the ground by the dad of one of the Hertford defenders. Sounds unremarkable doesn’t isn’t? Mind you, the defender in question is Pablo Ardiles, son of Spurs and Argie legend OSSIE! Hertford will be hosting Newport Pagnell Town who appear to be, singularly, the most organised and accessible club on the web, even if the colours are a bit mad on the eye. Thumbs up for NPT!

Also on Friday, Atherton LR visit Bacup Borough, who boast former Manchester City star Andy Hill as part of their management team. Last time Andy played professionally in the FA Cup he spent 210 minutes thwarting Arsenal in 1998 before an agonisingly close shoot out defeat.

Potton Utd .v. Hoddesdon Town boasts the competition’s youngest manager in Potton’s 24 years young joint manager, Tom Galvin. I haven’t actually researched this that thoroughly but how many other managers are 24?! 24! Hoddesdon, on the other hand, have a patron who may or may not be at the game. He’s having a very busy night tonight and he is OSSIE Ardiles!!!

The visitors to Littlehampton Town are, annoyingly, more famous for housing the training facilities for some of the Premier League’s largest wallets. Fortunately, they do actually have a famous international alumnus. Admittedly, the international team in question is the England cricket team but, nevertheless, Cobham does boast as life-member and former net minder, TMS box regular Bob Willis! We’re impressed. And, as the final Test doesn’t start until next week, he’s got no excuse to miss this.

Further North we have Billingham Synthonia .v. Birtley Town. The brilliantly monikered Synthonia line up has, in more halcyon days, included the decreasingly famous ex-players Brian Clough, Bernie Slaven and Curtis Fleming. More uniquely, they claim to be the only team to be named after Synthetic Ammonia, which gave rise to their very incongruous name when the team was affiliated with the now departed megalith of chemicals, ICI. And, once again the legend strikes, Ossie once had his house painted by ICI product!

FA Vase holders Whitley Bay host a newly ‘sponsored’ team called Dunston UTS. UTS are an engineering firm who can “achieve answers to any pipeline dilemma”. Fabulous.

Manchester’s Abbey Hey have arguably the toughest tie of this round, on paper. Albeit a home tie and on the same rung of the ladder, they face a daunting ‘Roses’ clash with Sheffield’s Hallam. Hallam, the second oldest club in the world, must have made even Bryan Gunn wince with their opening day 9-1 away victory, while Abbey Hey’s own effort might have bought a knowing grin, a 1-5 home defeat. Ossie watch has little to say here, except that he could probably still score against Norwich.

Among the others, we have ties all over the country, Stone Dominoes .v. Cadbury Athletic, Dereham Town .v. Leiston, Guildford City .v. St Francis Rangers and Barnstaple Town .v. Tavistock. Go on, support your local team. If not, support someone else’s local team, have a holiday, you’re worth it.

See also, Simon’s Brilliant Cup Game Map:

  1. Scarborough Athletic v Guisborough Town will take place SUNDAY 16th 3pm
    @ Queensgate, Bridlington.

    A historic occasion for the “seadogs” as it will be their first ever FA cup game since formation in 2007 (just after the old Scarborough FC went bust)

  2. Damon Threadgold

    Cheers for that, Seadogs, just noticed we’ve missed a few rearranged dates in the first round. Thanks, Damon.

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