Readers of this site will probably be aware that this game was the first in England to be ‘broadcast’ live on Facebook by the sponsors of this year’s FA Cup competition. It’s fair to say that we aren’t the biggest fans of the glitz and schnitz that accompanies top flight football, a reaction to that was the reason we do this, so when the first rumblings of this gimmick (for want of a better word) surfaced we raised an eyebrow and wondered what tomfoolery we’d have to endure.

We needn’t have worried. I can hear it now, “sell outs”, “suckers”, “burger whores”. Possibly all fair points.  However.  ‘Budweiser’. There, we’ve said it. ‘Budweiser’ kept it simple, pondered what football fans do most at football. Drink. Eat. Watch football. Then they provided them. Simply. A voucher for £1 off a pint of Bud. Free burger. No messing about with the performance area. Three big ticks. Budweiser logos aside, what do you expect, they paid for the party so they have every right tell the world about it, they pitched this very well indeed. So well, nearly 30,000 people watched it on Facebook.

Even so, I am not sure even Annheuser Busch expected over 1100 people turning up. Or did they? They didn’t seem to run out of either vouchers or burgers. Or beer. That’s planning. But what does it all mean? Why did so many people turn up, why did so many people log on, ‘like’ and watch the game?

Well, it’s novelty, for sure. Football in a leafy ‘burb on a Friday, buzz about the game, Ascot’s first ever FA Cup game, the dreamy name of ‘Wembley’ the opposition, cheap booze promised, free burger guaranteed and telly cameras. And it was sunny and clement.

Does it show you what a big budget can do for non-league football? Possibly. Bud certainly spent heavy in-ground, although in the grand scheme of things, it was peanuts to them. They presumably funded the outside broadcast unit though and used some social media expertise to sell the Facebook idea. But they didn’t have to convince a broadcaster to carry it or worry about advertising.

Also, maybe people are actually so disillusioned with the upper echelons of the game that this idea simply hit a zeitgeist (yay, obligatory use of ‘zeitgeist’)? Maybe the interest is actually there and it just needs tempting out from in front of it’s television screen. Hmmmm …

But 20,000 people watched it on Facebook, so the ‘TV’ audience was there too. 20,000 isn’t a very large figure for a traditional broadcaster but for a new media narrowcaster, it’s a decent amount of folk to be drawing through your product’s social media channel. Canny.  This could work. I am pretty sure Premier TV didn’t always match those figures with their Blue Square Prem coverage last season. Maybe they haven’t pitched it right? Or thrown enough money at it.

In truth, I think the relative success of this event was down to a mixture of all three, all conspired to give a measure of success more than the sum of its parts. Was the game good enough to bring the people back? Well, yes, probably. It was pretty open, Ascot flew out of the blocks and had a couple of chances to take the lead but, once the storm was weathered, Wembley looked the better side. Daryl Atkins was giving Phil Boddy a chasing down Ascot’s left flank and he fired in a few warning shots that dipped over the bar. One of them flew past the keeper, over the bar, sailed over the fans behind the goal and smashed into a bloke not paying attention to the game and talking on his phone. Ho ho.

Then Wembley hit the bar and the post while former Wimbledon defender Rob Gier was getting a going over on the other side of the defence by the strangely bequiffed Hector Guttierez. 0-0 at half time but god knows how. With Wembley’s manager Ian Bates pulling the strings in the middle of the park, assistant boss George Green was lording it up on the touchline in silver suit with a pink tie. I think the TV moment brought the beast out of his wardrobe. Top class kit.

The half time fayre even stuck to football’s rules. Penalty shoot out competition. Dave Beasant was called on to net mind and five lucky punters got to step up and do what John Aldridge failed to do in 1988. And four of the five did. The big lad laced, the lady tucked it in the corner, two others followed suit. I hope Aldo was watching. Only the cocky youth failed to beat the big man.

The second half was not as all action as the first until Wembley scored from a scramble and then they took control. They appeared to be trying to stifle the game and play out time when a rush of blood from keeper Ini Amaegbe got him a booking and Ascot a penalty after he brought down a forward. Bennett scored to level it and a few minutes later blazed past the post when he should have score.

Ascot would rue that when Chris Korten popped up for his second and the tie was won. Ascot 1 – 2 Wembley.  Seeing 1149 fans at an Extra Preliminary round game was odd. The atmosphere was bubbly but with so few regular fans it was difficult to build some singing or noise. The boos, whether sarcastic or not, when Wembley scored were redolent of people not at home or familiar with the football atmosphere, which might indicate there was a large contingent of non-football fans who came down to see what it’s all about. Though, the atmosphere in the bar was good and friendly and the volunteer staff coped brilliantly with the influx.

Is this the future for such sporting events? Well, Budweiser did themselves, the FA Cup, the FA and football a power of good tonight, much to the very surprise of this website. I hope they keep it up because with this level of effort it could invigorate grass roots football, people could see that there is something in their community worth supporting. We are putting our cynicism on hold for a while to take stock. We could go on but Gary Andrews has already got there on twofootedtackle

So off into the dark night we go with plenty to ponder. And my god it was dark out there. Seeing nothing but endless black beyond the glare of the floodlights was odd. That’s what the countryside does, I guess.

Photos to follow …

The Real FA Cup Awards Part 3.

Our surprisingly successful poll (3,000 votes!) earlier in the year decided FC United of Manchester were the people’s choice for the most impressive team of the season in the early rounds of the Cup. Hythe Town came a fractional and deserved second. We spoke to people from both clubs as the first two parts of our season’s review and here’s the final instalment, our highlights of the year and our First Choice XI team of the year.

The Best Quintessentially English Day Out:
Carshalton v Chelmsford in the 4th Qualifying Round. Our new favourite pub replete with Lord Nelson ephemera, a beer festival, antique bar billiards and florins (old 10p pieces). This is how pre-match drinking should be. What followed was a cracking cup tie with a (mostly) jolly atmosphere, a bit of passion, an exciting finish, a very tall man and all imbued with the evocatively long shadows of autumnal sunshine. A rammed and happy post-match pub topped it off.

The Real FA Cup Award For Cockle Warming: Jonathan Haggart
This will come as no surprise for those of you who follow us on Twitter, we’ve mentioned this guy a lot. This is the tale of frustrated, not-quite-footballer and club secretary Jonathan Haggart. Presented with an empty sub slot on Glossop North End’s official FA team sheet due to lack of bodies, Jonathan cunningly filled that slot with his own name, entering into the club’s history as an unused substitute in an FA Cup match! Not jealous, much.

Best Lino: Paul John
Watching the officials warm up pre-match at Arundel we wondered why Father Jack was running around the pitch. Sorry, Paul, we mean no ill but the hair and the painstakingly accrued beer festival waist accessory was reminiscent of everyone’s favourite priest. When we saw him stride out with a flag in his hand, we raised a collective eyebrow. But he ran the line, and ran, and ran, and as far as we could tell had a flawless game with firmness, certainty, no fuss and great humour. We subsequently found out he is one of the most cherished and respected officials in the Sussex League, which speaks volumes. If Carlsberg made linos …

Best Pub: The Hope
Obviously The Hope in Carshalton with a nod to the Bank in Sutton where we not only had a fine beer but it was also where therealfacup met the actual FA Cup, Geoff Thomas, Tony Rains and, begorra, ONLY RAY BLOODY STUBBS!

Best Fans: Kingstonian
Picture the scene, a 4,722 capacity stadium with 312 people in it. A phrase including the words ‘wizards sleeve’ might spring to mind. Echo, echo, echo, echo … Kingsmeadow! We’d only ever seen Kingstonian away and they’d made a decent effort of spurring on their team at Margate’s Dreamland but that didn’t prepare us, or indeed Margate ‘keeper Jamie Turner, for what was about to occur. If you can’t get enough fans to fill a stand, you shrink the stand to fit the fans. Huddled together like iron filings behind the magnet of the goal, the pocket of 100 or so K’s fans sang throughout the game with a breadth of songs that would put most German teams to shame. They bantered with and appreciated the Margate keeper, sucked in the pelanties in the shoot out and energised a dreary, grey South West London night. A toot of the realfacup vuvuzela to anyone who was there that night! Good work lads.

Late notable mention to Harlow Town fans for their joyful shenanigans in the Ryman 1 North play-off semi finals.

Best New Ground: Woking
Hmmmm … Cray Wanderers was a joy in the late summer sun, as was seeing my (Damon) bike on telly chained to a football stand, but a rammed Kingfield Stadium on a cold misty evening as Woking took on League 1 pace setters Brighton was a corker. Not quite the Berlin derby but a very FA Cup-ish close second. This is why replays should NEVER, EVER be done away with, this is why the FA would be fools to deny the plucky underdog their payday at a big club. A cold, damp evening in an old-school non-league stadium as neutrals await a shock is an integral part of the Cup’s charm. Get rid of that and a key vestige of ‘magic’ disappears forever.

Best Team Performance: Cray Wanderers
Cray Wanderers v South Park. Plucky underdogs they may have been but South Park were a man to the good for 75 minutes of this match, which really evened it up. Yet, in the second half, Cray’s 10 men could and perhaps should have run out more than the 1-0 winners they finally did. A never surrender attitude and fantastically gung-ho approach to being down to ten men, 4-3-2, is the way forward – as Swansea showed in the Play Offs.

Best Goal: Julian Ashby
This one probably goes to Julian Ashby of Redbridge in their qualifying game against London Colney. We may have benefitted from a good sightline but, jinking past a few players, he cut into the box from the touch line, played a swift one-two and then slotted a deft little shot with slight curl across the keeper and into the corner. A peach.

Best Individual Performance: Jamie Turner
Jamie Turner of Margate .v. Kingstonian (FA Cup 2nd Qualifying Round). How many finger tip saves can a goalie make in one game? The answer is 74*. Add the blocked shots, claimed crosses and routine saves and Jamie Turner touched the ball more times than Xavi does in a whole season. *That might be slight Skyperbole but he was immense. Then saved two penalties in the shoot out and still lost!!

Meeting the FA Cup! Might have had a little tap when the bouncer, yes, the FA Cup has a bouncer, wasn’t looking. I won’t post the pictures, it was cheesy, well I was.

Worst Food: —-
Often on the road at lunchtime we didn’t frequently eat inside football grounds but there was some shocking fayre on offer around them or on the way to them. The pick of the heart attacks was Simon’s deep fried grease fest from the kebab shop outside Kingstonian’s Kingsmeadow ground, a place we’d never have gone near if Fat Boy’s Caff had been open but needs must and this unnamed place needs condemning.

Most Half Hearted Cup Exit: Sutton United
We’re most supportive of and sympathetic towards Sutton United usually but when not one but two of their own fans suggest it, we have to agree. Sutton United 1 Alton Town 2. Meek. Surrender.

Biggest SHOCK!
If we don’t pick FCUM’s hearty triumph over League 1’s Rochdale we’ll get lynched. So we will. After all, there was five divisions between them. However, special mentions also to Dover for beating Gillingham, a massive one in the eye for Scally. MASSIVE. And also to Hythe Town who beat Staines 2-0. 2009/10′s Giant Killers Killed.

Top Mascots: Jenny & The Gator
Non-League is not a hot spot for mascots but Haydon The Womble and York’s Yorkie The Lion were both nominated by their fellow furry friends, as were Jenny The Giraffe, and Howie the Hornet We only actually saw two this season so it’s a tie between the … errr … ‘gator from Margate, ‘Margator’ and Sutton United’s Jenny the Giraffe

The Graham Yapp Award For The Most Significant Hatrick Scored By Someone Whose Name Includes A Romantic Poet:
Byron Harrison – Carshalton 3 East Thurrock 2

Ludicrous Goal Scoring Exploits: Leyton Orient
You’ve been through 90 minutes of sheer hell, as some rapper once said in an ad for an energy drink, and you’ve taken a League One side to the limit. 2-2. 30 minutes of actual hell later and you’ve shipped six in extra time. Doh to Droylsden, 8-2 to Orient.

The Always Be Prepared Award:
Wembley FC spent the whole final training session in the lead up to the Cup opener learning some zonal marking moves to defend set pieces. 2 minutes into their tie with Witham, 1-0 down. Lost 3-0.

Best Flares:
Woking & Brighton get it for size, Harlow Town get runners up for ingenuity.

Thanks to everyone who’s contributed to the site this season, it’s been a joy, we’ll no doubt be back again next year going to some random grounds around the south east of England and, who knows, maybe further. To round this all off, here’s the best eleven players we’ve seen this year, not necessarily in the FA Cup mind. And to top it all off the newly created and highly prestigious <drum roll> ‘Player Of The Season’.

The Real FA Cup First XI:

GK: Jamie Turner (Margate) First name on the team sheet for keeping Kingstonian at bay with more saves than Robert Green made all season.

RB: Inigo Calderon (Brighton) Nullified Watford and yet still managed to start off Brighton’s good moves and get forward at will.
LB: Taricco (Brighton) Ahhhh, little Mo, out of retirement after 6 years, sets up a goal then gets sent off. Then scores the following week.
CB: Francis Duku (Dulwich Hamlet) Count Duku, immense (if a little erratic) at times but so good all defenders should be measured in Dukus.
CB: Rob Grove (Arundel) Libero of the Sussex League!! Who’d have thought?

RM: Paul Robinson (Whitley Bay) Well, he had to get in didn’t he? We interviewed him you know. Oh and he won a trinket again.
LM: Julian Ashby (Redbridge) Mazy run, tidy one-two, curled into the corner, picture postcard FA Cup dreams.
CM: Matt Gray (Kingstonian) The Boss. The non-league Glenn Hoddle. You need a defence splitting pass? Send for Matt! Although even he couldn’t find a way past Jamie Turner.

F: Jacob Walcott (Staines) Better than Theo, doesn;t have legs made of biscuit.
F: Paul Chow (Whitley Bay) This man knows where the goal is. By our reckoning another 30 goal season, scored in every round of the FA Vase, more goals at Wembley … what next?
F: Harrison (Carshalton) The Chelmsford defence didn’t even know where he was for most of the game at Colston Avenue.

therealfacup PLAYER OF THE SEASON – JAMIE TURNER (MARGATE)

The Real FA Cup Awards 2010.

The Nominations Are: Click Link For All Polls

Best Player:
Sanchez Ming – Dulwich Hamlet
Marcel Jones – Enfield 1893
Ryan Ashe – Wealdstone
Jack King – Farnborough
Danny Forrest – Crawley
Danny Kedwell – AFC Wimbledon
Sam Duncum – Ilkeston

Best Game:
Broxbourne Borough V&E 1 Enfield 1893 4
Ashford Town (Mx) 2 Hendon 2 (9-8 on pens)
Farnborough 2 Hastings 1
Dartford 1 Chelmsford City 4
AFC Wimbledon 2 Crawley Town 1
Wealdstone 2 Rotherham 3

Best Ground: This one is not easy either.
Champion Hill – Dulwich Hamlet
Princes Park – Dartford
Beveree Stadium – Hampton & Richmond Borough

Most Helpful Club:
Wembley
Basildon United
Wealdstone
AFC Wimbledon
Sevenoaks

Team Of The Tournament:
Lowestoft Town
AFC Wimbledon
Tooting & Mitcham United
Aylesbury
Wealdstone
Enfield 1893
Forest Green

Best game so far? Probably AFC Wimbledon 3 Crawley Town 1, with AFC down to ten men and seemingly out they raised the bar, raised their game and put a shell-shocked Crawley to the sword. Notable mention also for Broxbourne Borough V&E 1 Enfield 1893 4, a game where the quality exceeded the apparent lowly status of the teams present.

Through the Christmas and New Year period, before the Cup kicks off again, we’re going to look back, briefly, round-by-round, at the games we’ve been to and see how the teams we’ve seen have fared since we saw them.

Extra Preliminary Round:

Since we visited Wembley FC on that lovely sunny summer day things have been a bit rocky for them. The cup defeat didn’t initially seem to affect them too much and they won their next 2 league games. However, after those games they lost 9 on the bounce, only halting the run with a draw at home to Sandhurst Town before then going on to lose 2 more. For most of that run the Lions’ pride have been bereft of realfacup interview star Andy Walker through injury.

Despite this tawdry run, they last week managed a jaw-dropping, and perhaps season-turning, 5-4 home victory over Raynes Park Vale that lifted them off the bottom. Despite the rank results in the league, Wembley managed 4 rounds in the FA Vase beating Wootton Blue Cross, St Margaresbury and Langford before crashing out to Hoddesdon in round 2.

Basildon United, on the other hand, currently lie 6th in the Essex Senior League. Although victorious in this round of the FA Cup, Basildon lost 3-0 away at Erith in the Preliminary Round so their cup was fairly short lived this time round. An indifferent November has cost them because they were at one point level with leaders Burnham Ramblers but have now slipped 5 points behind. Any promotion is going to be tricky as the leaders and teams around the Bees have games in hand.

Runners up in both of the last two seasons, eternal bridesmaids Enfield 1893 find themselves in familiar territory just a few points off the top. They are just above Basildon on goal difference and are currently best placed to catch the leaders. After Enfield had taken their landlords, Broxbourne, to pieces their season stagnated a little but has really picked up in recent weeks. Since they lost 5-0 to league leaders Bethnal Green in early October Enfield have won 5 drawn 2 and lost just 1 game , a run that has taken them to within a point of second place and with 2 games in hand.

Enfield have got to at least the 2nd Qualifying Round in 6 of the last 10 years but this season saw the most games they’ve played in the cup for 10 years. In the Preliminary Round they beat Crawley Green 7-0 and followed that up with 3-3 and 1-1 draws with Halstead Town in the 1st Qualifying Round before winning a penalty shoot out. In the 2nd Qualifying Round Enfield were visited by a high flying Chelmsford City side three leagues above them and got well and truly battered 0-5. They did also get to the 2nd Round of the Vase before losing, oddly, to Cambridge Regional College.

Finally, Broxbourne Borough V&E. The vanquished BBVE are doing very well this season. The Boro’ lie 4th in the Spartan South Midlands Premier five points off the promotion places but, tucked in nicely, with a game in hand. BBVE have won their last three league games racking up 9 goals but also got knocked out of the FA Vase in the 1st Round, losing to Stotfold.

It seems a long time ago that we watched these games, both were watched in warm sunshine on Saturday afternoons. Now though, as the windfall leaves start to be swept from non-league grounds, the waterlog sets it and the frost starts to bite, three of the four teams we saw in the Extra Preliminary Round are getting the decorations ready. Wembley, on the other hand, might need some charity this Christmas. Next time round, we catch up with the teams we saw in the Preliminary Round, Chertsey, Met Police, Sevenoaks and our local boys Dulwich Hamlet.

Well, here we are then. A perfectly reasonable summer lunchtime sees us head away from South London, heavily armed with shades, camera, phone, note book and pen.

Tooled up for our raid on Norf West Lahndan we head for Lords for the smack of leather on willow, cucumber sandwiches, a flask of tea and maybe a nip of gin. Oh, no, hang on, that isn’t linseed oil, it’s deep heat, the football season has started and excitement is in the air! Except it really isn’t. After the build up of the last few weeks, today seems somewhat subdued. There are no crowds at Sudbury Town tube, even the Swan has precious few punters watching the 2nd half of Chelsea .v. Hull. It’s summer and it’s warm and people are out doing summery things.

We, however, are off to Vale Farm for the FA Cup.

Our journey passed slowly but uneventfully. Our entry to the ground was pedestrian and unremarkable, the programmes were sold out. The game was quite good and the players were really up for it. Everything else seemed quite calm, there was a sparseness to the crowd that added to the feeling that the season hadn’t quite started. We don’t yet know the attendance but it couldn’t have been quite in three figures. A LOT less than when we were here for Hendon .v. AFC Telford last season.

Obligatory ‘in the shadow of the Wembley Arch’ out of the way, I’m afraid the beautiful symmetry of Wembley FC getting to Wembley will have to wait another year. At least. Wembley’s stay did at least last longer than our good camera, the batteries for which expired while trying to photo the team sheet. The Wembley side of the sheet lacked the injured Andy Walker, shame as we’d hoped to get some photos of this elusive centre back. Bit of a blow for Wembley.

The first 10-15 minutes of the game passed with phone camera poised but unused. It was a tense, scrappy opening, with neither team looking either composed or convincing. Basildon did though look like a collection of players who actually knew each other. Wembley were a little ragged. The first memorable action came on about 15 when a voice from the Basildon dugout gave a curt reminder to his charges that the game is not a complicated animal. “Simple it up” was the shout and it was met by a monumental hoof up the pitch. “That was pretty simple” said one wag a few feet along the touchline.

That did, however, serve to focus the mind. Basildon started to have some possession and within five minutes should have been one up. A period of possession around the Wembley box resulted in a goalmouth scramble. The ball was half cleared but an angled Basildon drive towards the bottom corner struck the unfortunate Bee Ollie Baker and was cleared to safety by the grateful Wembley defence. That was unlucky, should have been 1 zip.

Basildon regained possession and were building up a head of steam. A sweet cross field pass to Paul Richardson set him free down the right, he beat his man but couldn’t get a clean cross in and won a corner. The corner was perfect, arrowed in to the penalty spot where Martyn Guest leapt like the most salmony of salmon and hung like the buzziest of Bees, smashing a header onto the bar. Not for the last time in the game Cassells in the Wembley goal didn’t quite get enough of the ball and Luke Bauckman forced it in the rebound. 0-1 Basildon.

Basildon were now purposeful and accurate, playing good balls to feet with efficient off the ball movement. Wembley had resorted to hopeful out balls and were under pressure.

Benkalba broke in a rare Wembley attack but was hauled down by Guest, a blot on an otherwise impressive start from therealfacup’s premiere interviewee. The resultant free kick was somewhat wasted. Guesty then got involved in some handbags with Paul Shelton and it probably deserved a card a piece. The ref had other ideas and, as he’d dealt well with the few potential flashpoints of the game with a talking to, so he did here.

Of course, then Wembley’s Black took out Basildon’s Baker and got himself a yellow. Wembley had now completely lost discipline and some more handbags preceded a Basildon attack that was ended by some shirt tugging on the edge of the box. Wembley’s Habbaz paid for getting shirty with his name. Guest went for goal direct from the free kick but didn’t test the keeper, although the defence was all over the place.

Basildon are now well on top and a lovely chip from the lively Rick Robinson slips narrowly past the post. After 38 minutes Wembley buckled, Baker crossed and Bauckman steered a sturdy header past the wobbly Cassell in Wembley’s goal.

As Wembley desperately tried to regain a hold on the game the obviously talented but possession-starved Campbell-Grimshaw switched wings. We have no idea how but almost immediately Wembley were in the Basildon box. The lime green-booted Ankram shot straight at the keeper but the ball fell at his feet and one miscued shot past the floored Palmer later, Wembley are back in the game. I’d like to hyphenate some more words here but I’ve run out. Wembley 1 Basildon 2. 38 minutes.

From absolutely nothing, Wembley now had a way back. It’s now Basildon’s turn to get nervy. They don’t need to and Poole sees this, vociferously calling his comrades together. “Do more” is the slightly obvious but economical shout from the Basildon bench. Nervously but with no real scrapes, Basildon made it to half time 2-1 up.

The Vale bar was not as welcoming as on our last visit, it wasn’t open from the pitch so you had to go out of the ground and round the front of the club. We decided against the walk and opted for the perfectly acceptable burger and chips. What is this lunacy, no half time beer? Ah well, £2.25, bargain. Half time was only remarkable for the relentless bothering our burgers received at the wings of wasps and the octagenarian occupants of the food hut diligently but slowly preparing our feast.

Basildon had the best of the first 10 minutes of the second half and effectively killed the game on about 53 minutes. Some nice work down the left was turned dangerous when Robinson picked the ball up just inside the box near the touchline. He flicked the ball across beautifully, just too deep for the keeper to come for it and Richardson was the player gambling and forcing the ball over the line. Wembley 1 Basildon 3.

Wembley’s first real effort to get back in the game took until about 60 minutes and came from a corner. The largely ineffectual Bates for once lost his man at a corner but, despite being well set, fired his header well wide.

A bit of a midfield tussle saw the ref blow the whistle but the action continued. The ref blew again. And again to halt the play. Seeing the players failing to halt, a young lady walking behind us shouted “Didn’t you hear the bell!?” We looked at each other, confused as she added “I mean the whistle”.

After about 67 minutes Wembley decided it was time for subs. Two. Within a minute one of them, Jerome Walker, was booked. With fresh instruction to go “3 up top” Wembley enlivened themselves and it started go from end to end but with no clear chances. Basildon followed suit with their own substitute to combat this and some more handbags ensued between Wembley’s Shelton and Basildon’s Merchant.

The way I’ve described the handbags makes it sound a dirty game but really it wasn’t, it was just eagerly contested by two teams who wanted to win. It was a little niggly but there was little of any malevolence.

One of the more notable fluctuations in play was a nice move down Wembley’s right between Benkalba and Hale but the cross, although good, saw no forwards bursting into the box. There was about 15 minutes to go and Simon noted that it must be pretty depressing to go out of the FA Cup on the 15th August. Fair point.

At the other end Richardson blasted over after being played in and sub Wackett was denied by a last ditch tackle after brilliantly and powerfully beating several defenders. Another Basildon foray into the Wembley box saw Hale slice a clearance for a corner. A very audible “Fuck” from the culpable defender summed up Wembley’s afternoon. They should at least have been a good match for Basildon but they really hadn’t turned up today.

With about 5 minutes to go Wembley threw themselves a very tenuous lifeline. Again from nothing Walker found himself about 25 yards out and rifled a shot far to the keeper’s right. Probably the goal of the game but it was still Wembley 2 Basildon 3.

Wembley now had a fairly unlikely chance of getting something out of the tie. The next 8 or 9 minutes passed with a minor head injury, some time wasting, a Wembley cross and a final rallying cry from Guest for Basildon to see out the remaining time. In the middle of all that several Wembley players emplored the ref to stop the clock for the injury and the manager finally found his voice to try to stir his team into action.

Final score Wembley 2 Basildon 3.
MOM: Paul Richardson – Basildon Utd

So, five goals, a couple of very good ones, a good ref and the right result. The pick of the players were all from Basildon, although Manuva and Walker looked dangerous after they came on for Wembley. Guest and Poole marshalled the side superbly, Robinson gave a lot up front without getting much in return and Bauckman came up with 2 goals. However, the stand out player for us was Paul Richardson, scorer of the 3rd goal. He passed well, made himself available, arrived late in the box from midfield and was involved in a number of Basildon’s best moves.

However, despite the goals and it being a watchable game, it was slightly flat on the touchline. When we came to vale Farm before, it was rocking, today it was quiet. Maybe it was just start of the season blues, maybe people were watching Jeff Stelling. Either way, the FA Cup is underway.

The FA Cup football special, is about to depart. Of course, it isn’t because the usual litany of TfL horror awaits. The nearest rail hub to Wembley FC is, obviously, shut at the weekend so the nearest tube is Sudbury Town on the Piccadilly line.

From the station head down Station Approach to Bridgewater Road and then left and over the roundabout towards the Harrow Road/Watford Road junction. Take the Watford option and the club is just beyond Eton Avenue on the right hand side, so keep your eyes peeled. If you fancy a beer before hand we hope to be in the Swan, which is a few yards up Harrow Road. Should be there by about 1 before heading to the club bar at about 2.

Crocodile Shoes

As the football season prepares to, once again, launch itself headlong into the nation’s consciousness, Andy Walker of Wembley FC launches himself headlong into the eyes of the therealfacup.

Any parallels between our first two interview victims are tenuous and very much not football related. They’re both very busy people, both centre backs, both appear to like visiting the non United bits of America and both will be playing in the FA Cup. The main difference, though, is at every home game Andy can gaze wistfully at Wembley’s big arch during the moments when the ball is at the other end of the Vale Farm pitch.

Currently in the Combined Counties Premier Division, Andy’s an old hand at the FA Cup but the last two campaigns could be said to be mixed. The 3-0 beating Wembley gave Haringey Borough two seasons ago after a replay is, undoubtedly, a high point, particularly as he ruefully admits it’s “the only time I’ve ever ended up on the winning side.” Incidentally, that game is one of many documented by author John Stoneman who went on his own journey through FA Cup.

Andrew Walker - Wembley FC

Job: Market Research
Car: N/A
Nickname: None given
Favourite Player: Peter Beardsley

I’ve no idea how few players we’ll come across this year that appear in a book about the FA Cup (very few) but Andy won’t be the only one to have been sent off in it. He won’t thank me much for dredging up the second yellow against Royston last season that signalled the end of his game and, judging by reports, the end of Wembley’s participation in the FA Cup that season. We weren’t there but the Wembley website hints Andy was, at the time, holding the defence together, while other reports suggest he was a little unfortunate with at least one of the cards.

We won’t dwell on that but we will dawdle a while on Andy’s favourite team. therealfacup won’t divert too frequently into the upper echelons of the game but, sadly, Andy’s team is no longer there and they do crop up regularly in the interview. From his favourite player to football’s Gaffer of Gaffers via the possibly thorny topic of football finance we wind. There’s little magic here.

Most Difficult Opponent: Anyone with pace
Favourite Other Team: Newcastle United
Pre-Match Meal: Cereal
Favourite TV Show: The Apprentice

The word ‘great’ is attributed to many but deserved by few. As I’m sure we’re all now aware, former Newcastle and Ipswich manager , Sir Bobby Robson, finally succumbed to the cancer he has already fought off four times. All Newcastle, Ipswich, Fulham and maybe even West Brom fans will definitely have taken a moment last weekend but, the thing is, they wouldn’t have been alone. “Very few managers achieve success while still being admired by opponents” said Andy, catching precisely the mood of the footballing nation and even those outside.

The word ‘great’ is not, however, one that sits comfortably with Newcastle at the moment, certainly not when it comes to finance and the perhaps unfounded rumours of administration. Andy believes the amount of money in the game is “fine, as long as clubs are generating as much as they are spending. Problems only arise when clubs try to live beyond their means”. I’d be misquoting Andy if I implied he made that comment in relation to Newcastle, which he didn’t, but, obviously, they are one of many top flight teams who have spent beyond their means and the relevance looms large at St James’ now they’ve dropped a division.

Celery

Another manager who made it into this interview is, even less surprisingly than Sir Bob, Andy’s current manager at Wembley. Perhaps more surprising is the context in which he cropped up. “Last season one of our players left their boots in the changing room after training. By the Saturday they had been concreted into a bucket” said Andy. The culprit? Ian Bates, Wembley manager and, apparently, dressing room joker.

With this anecdote seemingly rather at odds with the common perception of a manager, I asked Andy about the veracity of his response to the ‘favourite pop star’ question. Without giving too much away I am now wondering if Gaffer Bates is really the team joker. “Celery and umbrellas” indeed.

“My dad always told me he regretted giving up football at a young age and that has motivated me to keep working at it” says Andy of the biggest influence on his career. Maybe that’s why there’s no resting on laurels and his ambition is “to keep improving and help get Wembley back to the top end of the table, as we were a couple of years ago.”

Something that surprised me a little at both Andy and Martyn’s responses was that they had not heard any notable terrace songs in games in which they had played. I suppose it’s not entirely surprising they haven’t heard songs about themselves, not even all pro footballers get that accolade, but to not have heard any at all got me wondering. I don’t have a vast memory bank of FA Cup/non-league games but even I can remember some tunes. He says there’s “not usually enough people there to get any songs going” but I can only suspect that Andy is so immersed in the game that he doesn’t notice???

Last week we broached the topic of the magic of the cup and it’s individual nature. Like Martyn before him, Andy’s hope for future rounds was not to make the short trip to THE stadium itself and not to draw one of the big 4 or even the team he supports but a team that means something to him, his former club Horley Town. There’s a reality here, there’s a lack of the mediated response of footballers claiming their new club to be the one they’ve always dreamt of playing for. There’s no claims of an imminent title win, no boasts of supremacy, it’s all about bettering oneself, doing your best and enjoying it while respecting where you’ve come from and who got you there.

This is refreshing, it’s why we wanted to go to such games. It also may not be a revelation to many reading, maybe it is, but we’re new at this game and we like it.

Thanks again to Andy for taking time out from work to answer a few questions, it’s much appreciated, and good luck in today’s big kick off against Chertsey.

One final thing though. “It’s not about the good balls, it not about the bad balls, its all about the right balls.” This is apparently Andy’s favourite football cliche? Is this another in joke? Will one of his team mates please let us know?

Thanks to Andy Walker and also to Laura for facilitating the interview.

One of the last fields Bontcho graced regularly as a player was Hendon’s famous old ground, which has featured in loads of films, TV programs and ads, it’s an icon. Sadly, in the week before this game, it was repossessed by developers and so Hendon had started playing their games at nearby Harrow Borough. Harrow were at home that day so the green and white army had to switch to WEMBERLEEEE!!!!

Imagine Roman pulling his rouble out of Chelsea and them having to switch their games to Fulham but having to switch to Griffin Park due to a fixture clash, hahahaha, if only. Anyway, Woohoo, we were off to Wembley already and we hadn’t even got to the ‘Propers’. Errr … no … Wembley FC, not Wembley Stadium. However, you can see the arch from the ground and we got the train with England fans on the way to the Kazakhstan game so it felt special. And a bit weird when they all got off and we carried on for another stop.

This was also the first ground we’d been to that vaguely resembled what you might call a stadium. Down the main side there was a bar set back from the pitch, with a kind of patio area in front. You really can’t beat football when the sun is blazing, you’re standing, beer in hand, twenty feet from a World Cup goalscorer watching the FA Cup.

The game was fairly good but Telford barely got out of second gear during a thoroughly professional performance and Hendon only scored in injury time with a dubious penalty. I definitely saw Bontcho this time, he looked old but then don’t we all? The Telford fans, though, were great, they were well up for this Cup malarkey. They only stopped singing at the start of the second half, they even sang all the way through half time and had a man with a twenty foot stick with a flag on the end. And a fucking bell ringer. Grrrr.

They did sing some good songs, including the Shrewsbury dissing ‘There’s only one team in Shropshire’, which sounded funnier in song than it does in print. The ‘No ground, no fans’ song sung to the boycotting Hendon fans, protesting about their ground repossession, was a bit harsh and, without any audible response was a bit hollow. Their most popular tune was their rework of the classic FA Cup song – ‘Wemberlee, Wemberlee’.