So, Notts County are now definitely, officially, the English Anglo Italian Cup Winners Cup Winners!

Last time we went to Sutton was in the second qualifying round. One of us was suffering very badly from ‘lunching’ very heartily the previous day. As a result, our match report was … errr … compact and bijou, Peter. This time, no such problem. Fresh juice was supped, salad was  eaten, oxygen tents were used. And then we went and spoiled it all by drinking something stupid like a porter. Or two. The pre-match lunch of nutty 6% food in the fabulous Hope was, perhaps, a foolhardy choice of solids. As a result, who knows what will follow?

We picked up our tickets from the club and bumped into realfacup stalwart, Agent Gerard, Sutton United’s club secretary who secretly wishes he worked for us, not Sutton United, and one day he might when the whole of the world’s media bow at our feet and realise what they actually need is rambling half-memories of games featuring some, lots, little or no actual discussion of the game [yawn - ed].

There were queues, we dodged them, a rare excursion round the tradesman’s entrance, up the back stairs and down through the main stand. We were ushered into a darkened room. Behind a velvet curtain lay a glass cabinet. In the glass cabinet was a relic. It was imbued with the dull warmth that only a biege car coat can give. A coat of few colours, a coat that had itself been imbued with some of the finest cup shocks known to man. Here lay John Motson’s crib sheet from 1989. Yes, here were his pre-match scribblings from Sutton United 2 Coventry City 1, the biggest Cupset of the last 30 years, or more. Fresh from this brief brush with greatness we were emboldened. As the crowd hove into view this most familiar of grounds, to us, was transformed from one usually well-garnished with fans to one heartily fed but not bloated with people. There was a hubbub too. If all games were like this, the footballing world would be a much better place.

Where we stood on the Curva Sud as the game started, it was oddly subdued. There was some distant noise coming from the usual yellow hardcore but, among the general bluster of a fuller ground, it seemed slightly lost. Though it may have been the aural perspective on the exposed terrace, in the second half down the other side it sounded much louder. There were, apparently, some Notts County fans in.

Here it starts to go a little fuzzy. Mr Porter really started to take its toll and, ultimately, led to an uncharacteristic expletive-riddled outburst straight down aerials and onto our Twitter feed. Tsk, norty boys. Sutton were arguably the better side in the opening half an hour. Sure, there was some last ditch defending but it was, largely, not the Blue Square South side who were having to do it. Sodje was proving an immovable object though and, against the run of play, typically, fresh from being accused of further misdemeanours, Lee Hughes’ predatory instincts were forensically sharp.

Oh, no, you see, what we did there was to pretend not to know it was Jeff Hughes just so we could get some hot news in!  Though, in fairness to people who are hair-blind, it would have been difficult to tell the difference as Jeff turned in a very swift cross-cum shot, to which he had only a fraction of a second to react.

The previously reliable Sodje hauled down the busy Watkins and Griffiths put the penalty too close the keeper. Not the best pen but not the worst. Had Nelson gone the other way, it would certainly have gone in. It wasn’t Sutton’s day. “No more dreaming about tomorrow, forget the loneliness and sorrow.” [heh – ed]

At this point, there was a tape-loading error and I must rewind the tape, adjust the sound levels and try again …

Errr, what happened next … ?  *rubs eyes* *thinks hard* Half time.

What we really needed was a spot of supper. Go out of the ground, you say? Get into the bar round the back? OK. Here we found a new bar we’d never been to before, THE MAIN ROOM! And it had a supper of Tribute! (It may not have been Tribute but it was something of that ilk, something good, a filling food substitute that would make us feel better). And there were some men setting up a variety of noisy looking instruments on the stage. Ooooh! At non-league clubs you often get tribute bands, beveragely apt here. It’s always just one band though. By Jovi! Jeff Leppard. Faux Fighters. The Southmartins. We want them all on one bill, man. Make it happen!

Sutton had dancing girls. They looked freezing. I can’t remember what they danced to. It wasn’t Chaka Demus and, indeed, Pliers, which was number one when Notts County beat Sutton in 1994 and it wasn’t the aforementioned Kylie & Jason, number one when Sutton beat Coventry in 1989. More. Is. The. Pity. Especially for us.

The sureness of touch you get when a professional footballer is confident seeped through County’s players after the first goal and returned after the penalty miss and half time. Sutton prodded but never really looked like scoring. A few headers floated past the post but few close enough to cause any but a few Sutton fans to inhale sharply. Unfortunately, some of County’s players were going down a bit easily to kill time, they may even have had just cause at times but it was a little irksome after a while. Although our blind partisanship may be obscuring this a little.

But, enormous credit to the Magpie coloured team from the middle of England for avoiding the cliched bananaskin, they did enough, professionally enough, to hold out. When Murray got his second yellow and Sutton were down to  ten, Hughes poked in from close range for County’s second. Once again therealfacup were left scrabbling around on the floor for a mislaid piece of genuine cup shock. Underdogs will start turning us away from gates soon. So, if you run a big club and you’re playing a small club, guarantee yourself a place in the next round by sending us tickets. *Waves in Brighton & Hove Albion’s general direction – we’ll need about eight tickets*

Sutton were out and we retired to watch Pete Loaf. The Tribute ran out so we moved on to a pub, the name of which we can’t remember to meet with a few Sutton fans, led by Morph, sans Tony Hart and Chas but with the mysterious Amber Rambler. Commiseratory tea was taken. We missed the last train. We had a kebab. We had to get a taxi home. Thirty sheets! Thirty! Monday was very painful.

And Simon left his camera in the cab – photos to follow. [hic]

Not many, is the answer.  There’s been a dearth of European non-league competitions for the very practical reasons of cost and, well, to put it bluntly, lack of public interest. There have been a few, though, and most of them involve England and Italy.  The first one of note was the Thomas Lipton Trophy, held in Turin, where West Auckland became the first ‘World Cup Winners’. Between then and the 1960s there were one offs and occasional mini-tournaments until the Coppa Ottorino Barassi, held between 1968-76 for semi-pro sides.

There was also the separate Anglo-Italian Semi-Pro Cup that ran for just two years 1975-6 but the one we’ve probably all heard of is the actual Anglo Italian Cup, which existed primarily, and latterly, for professional teams. But, for ten years in the middle, 1976-1986, the same trophy was competed for by amateur sides.  In truth, in both guises, it should have been called the Anglo Beaten By Italians Cup, the only English victories in the professional version were by Blackpool, Swindon, Newcastle and Notts County. In the amateur version it was worse, Italian teams dominated and there was only ever one English winner, indeed in the last four tournaments held the final was contested by two Italian sides.

For the first three years it wasn’t much different, Monza, Lecco and Udinese despatched Wimbledon and Bath City (twice) so when Sutton United, Barnet, Matlock Town and Nuneaton Borough took to the group stage in 1979, it was more in hope than anything.

The group stages were odd, a bit Europa League to be honest. All four English teams went over to Italy to play two games against two of the four Italian teams. Then it was back to the green and pleasant land for each club to play at home the two other Italian teams they hadn’t played. Then, whichever English teams had the most points played the similarly bestest Italian team in the final, at that Italian team’s home ground.

In 1979, the four Italian sides were Juniorcasale, Cremonese, Pisa and Chieti. Two Sutton fans went to Juniorcasale and Cremonese to see a 1-1 draw and 1-0 win respectively. Sutton fan and unofficial historian Mark Frake wasn’t, sadly, one of them. He was but 16, still at school playing the leading role of Al Capone in the school’s annual theatrical production – and the dress rehearsal meant he couldn’t travel to Italy.

But, thanks to the other three English teams losing all their games in Italy, Mark only needed Sutton to win one of the two home games toguarantee himself a trip to Italy for the final. 1700 Sutton fans turned up at Gander Green Lane to see them dispatch Pisa 1-0 to more or less nail the final place. Sutton lost the last group game 1-0 to Chieti but they were there – and their opponents in the final were … Chieti. Mark believes that was actually a stroke of [planned? - Ed] luck because, had they drawn or beaten Chieti, Pisa would have won the Italian half of the league and “were better and I don’t think we would have beaten them in the final”.

Chieti
The final was set for 25th April.  Mark and six friends had 11 days to sort out their trip to Abruzzo. Easy now, a 3hr flight to Bari or Pescara on Ryan’s Easy Air but back then … “It was the first time I’d gone anywhere on my own, without my parents”. “I had to take time off work to get a one year passport, the Post Office wasn’t open on Saturdays for passport applications back then”. With air travel restrictively priced even in 1979 Mark left the travel arrangements to Nigel and troubled himself with actually being allowed in the country.

The seven’s arduous travel plan “started on Monday 23rd April with a train trip to Folkestone”. From there it was “a ferry to Ostend” and a train on to Brussels. Then came the Sound Of Music section, “a train from Brussels to Milan through the Alps in April, there was still snow”. The springtime Alpine journey took the edge off the next arduous leg “from Milan to Rome, eight hours of standing on a packed train because it was Liberation Day” – La Festa della Liberazione, the 34th anniversary of liberation from Mussolini’s Social Republic. When the Englanders got to Rome they only had “fifteen minutes to get a ticket to Chieti and find the train” but make it they did.

Mark believes the main reason the team had got this far was a tactical masterstroke by the managerial team of (future Malmo manager) Keith Blunt and Barry Williams. Having paid attention to the Italian style of the time, the regular right back was moved into a defensive midfield holding/sweeper role and it worked. But, even so, when the English turned up in Chieti, the obvious conclusion of the locals was that Sutton United would be soundly beaten and sent back to blighty with their tails between their legs.

When the seven got to the ground, they couldn’t believe it, the backdrop of this particular non-league game was not to be the East End, Walthamstow Avenue or even the relatively gentle air of Champion Hill, but the lush green foothills of the Montagne del Morrone. And the joy of the heady surroundings was embellished by the officials. “It was as if they’d got the ref from the English non league, we got everything”. “They should have had a penalty inside two minutes, Dave Collyer brought one of their forwards down in the box”. It wasn’t given.

Bobby Southam and John Rains netted in the first half and the boys (and one girl) were going nuts in front of several hundred perplexed Italians. “In the first half it was all Sutton, In the second half it was all Chieti and the ref started giving them everything” [Game of two halves, nice – Ed]. But despite the pressure and a goal pulled back, Mark said he “never felt nervous until the last ten minutes”.

Sutton held out, decked proudly not in their own kit but that of the England team, a gift from the FA. The Alitalia sponsored Gigi Peronace trophy was liberated from Italian hands for the first time in the amateur era and smuggled [cough] back over the Alps. “From nowhere there was this massive excitement” said Mark, “it’s the best moment I’ve had as a Sutton supporter, even better than Coventry”. The seven fans celebrated with the team, they knew some of them, they drank in the same bars of course. “Welly Waite [one of Mark's mates] had a bottle of scotch and tipped it in the cup. [captain] John Rains thought it was champagne so started gulping it, haha, his face was a picture”.

“The Anglo Italian cup [win] gave a completely different atmosphere to the club” says Mark, “with that ’79 side people started talking about Sutton again”. “We should have won the Isthmian league before then but we finally won it in the mid 80s and the following year went up”. The club didn’t take the promotion with the first win, ground requirements at the next level would have meant a large expenditure so they held fire. “The fans were gutted” but with hindsight “slowly building was the right thing to do”. The club was promoted the following season.

Since then it’s been the usual football cycle of ups and downs for Sutton, currently on an upward trend with promotion last year and a superb start to the current season and Cup. Chieti had a taste too, as well as being an amateur side they spent a lot of time in Italy’s third tier before imploding. They went bust in 2006 and were reborn as ASD Chieti and have gained promotion back up to Lega Pro Seconda pulling in crowds of 1500. Last year they got to the play offs to get back to the third tier, “their natural level” says fan Fabio Bucciarelli, only to lose to Carrarese, owned by a certain Gianluigi Buffon.

Trieste & Modena
Before this domestic success, Sutton had two more seasons in the Anglo Italian cup. They got to the final both times. “The following year was in Trieste and this time we went by coach” says Mark. “It was a long journey, there was probably about 50 people on the coach and it was a great atmosphere”. They couldn’t afford the Venitian hotels so went out drinking and then slept on the coach ” sneaking into the bar of the players’ hotel to sort ourselves out in the morning”.

Mark didn’t have such a great time this year. “The game was windy and cold and I had a splitting headache, as much from the wind as the tension.” By all accounts the game was not a classic but it was live on Italian TV and went to penalties. “Micky Stephens had been superb all game” but the English curse had transcended the football pyramid and he was doomed to miss the crucial penalty. Sutton lost 5-4 on penalties to Triestina.

In 1982 Sutton got to the final again. This time it was held in the south, in and around Modena and it was a weekend tournament featuring the hosts, 1980 finalists Triestina, Sutton and 1981 finalists Poole Town. The Sutton fans had another epic train journey and stayed in Sorrento, one can only imagine whether the writers of Jossy’s Giants knew about this. This time they stayed in the same hotel as the players, on strict instructions to behave. Mark tells of an impromptu game in a nearby “dustbowl” where about twenty Sutton fans got together for match. While they were playing, “the Poole Town captain Bill Beaney wandered past and asked if he could join in”. “He had a game the next day!” Those Were The Days.

Playing in Campo Basso was a bit different to the salubrious environs of Venice and Chieti. They were met by machine gun toting Police guarding the next door prison and the locale was best described as “not the friendliest”. Poole lost to Modena and Sutton drew 0-0 with Triestina and then won 4-1 on penalties [IN YOUR FACE, HISTORY!!]. “Poole had no fans there so, when the 3rd place play off came round, because of Bill we became Poole fans for 90 minutes and went down to support them.” Poole lost 3-0 despite having former Fulham pro John Evanson in the ranks and, probably, with no thanks to Bill being knackered.

For the final, against Modena, the Sutton fans got an early ‘hello’ from the locals. “Someone chucked a fire cracker into the Sutton end and there was big bang. We thought we’d been shot. The players thought someone had been shot”. It sounds like the on-pitch welcome wasn’t much better, “they were typical of Italian teams of the time, pretty rough and diving”. Sutton lost 1-0, to a 5^th minute goal from Scarabelli, “but we had a few hours to kill before getting the train back and were in the same hotel as both Sutton and Poole players, so we all partied together”.

Sutton United went on to promotion, a draw against Middlesbrough in the FA Cup and that famous win over Coventry a year later, which remains the last time a non league side beat a top flight side. And they are still the only ever English amateur winners of the Anglo Italian Cup. Seeing your local team play in the ‘proper’ FA Cup is not unusual, seeing them play a big side is occasional but seeing them play in and win a European tournament is almost unheard of. Sutton did it. Of the seven on that trip, four still go to Gander Green Lane, three of them regularly. Mark’s whistful about the Cup now. Like I thought, when pondering what Sutton event or person to write about for this game preview, Mark said “Every year Ronnie Radford or Sutton get dragged out by the media”, he says. “But seeing your team winning in Europe is better”.

“I don’t think any of us will forget those four days in April 1979 for as long as we’re all still breathing. Magical”.

Sutton United .v. Notts County.
Sunday 4th December 5pm, tickets £13-£15 and concessions.

Thanks to Mark Frake for speaking to us, Gerard Mills from Sutton United for facilitating and Amber Rambler for supplying Chieti info from Fabio Bucciarelli.

Leatherhead 2 – 3 Sutton United:

Seasoned giant killers Sutton stumbled into the first round of the FA Cup at the expense of a rather dogged Leatherhead, languishing a whopping 42 places below them in the pyramid.

Pre-match we bumped into Sutton secretary Gerard Mills and he told us how relaxed and laissez faire he was about the game, in contrast to Saturday where he ran the gamut of symptoms of match day nerves from foreboding, through tension and on to physical sickness when Sutton looked like imploding on their own doorstep.

We’d seen Sutton dismantle Dulwich in an earlier round and we’d seen Leatherhead squeeze past the Hamlet in last season’s Ryman 1 South play off final, so we assumed Saturday had been a blip and today would be a more comfortable affair for Sutton, having managed to spot the banana skin at the last moment and avoid tumbling into the gutter.

But no, by all account this game was exactly the same as Saturday, except Sutton not only avoided the banana skin, they picked it up and put it in the bin, although only after having it slip out of their hands and back to the pavement a couple of times.

Pre-match, I thought I’d get all arty and try my new favourite pastime of long exposure photography. For some bizarre reason I thought football would be a great experiment, largely still backdrops of stands and goal for context with the unpredictable blur of players moving ghostly around in the foreground. Didn’t really work, as you can see (left). I’d imagine the pro snappers present (Andy and Paul) will be far from impressed.

The game itself was harem scarem cup joy, no words will do it justice. Imagine that cup game you saw your team playing, they went ahead, they got pegged back, they scored late on and then contrived to concede an even later equaliser to send the game in to extra time. They then leave the door open, get away with it, the bench get angry, someone is sent off and then you snatch what should be the winner and spend 20 minutes desperately clinging on to it. Makes you shudder and sympathetically age 10 years just thinking about it.

The average age of Sutton fans now is actually around 10 years more than it was at 7:30pm on Tuesday evening, some of the Tweets made us neutrals chuckle. “I am not enjoying this one bit” and “That was a proper cup tie. I feel shattered just watching it” said Amber Rambler (superb blog by AR, by the way, well worth a read), Sutton Jared was “offering everything as a sacrfice right now” and, bumping into Gerard pitch-side he was not feeling too sharp and had managed to smoke 17 cigarettes during the game. Impressive, I’m sure you’ll agree.

It looked like the game was over in the second minute, Watkins latched onto a through ball and tucked it under the keeper, 1-0 Sutton and natural order had been restored.  For the next fifteen minutes it appeared a procession was on as Sutton shifted the ball around with some eye-catching movement and passing. But the second goal never came, Leatherhead upped the tempo and Sutton started to get sloppy.

Penalty. A little harsh as the forward was going down before the keeper even touched him. But, having seen the ball pushed towards the touchline, Scrivener really didn’t need to go sliding in and he only has himself to blame for giving the ref an option. Tom Hutchings popped away the penno.

One each. Game on.

Half time didn’t calm the nerves and the game was open, full of mistakes, a decent amount of nice play, some spicy tackles, end-to-end motion, half chances, good saves, desperate clearances and a vociferous crowd of nearly 1000.  Much of the second half followed this pattern of absolutely no pattern until Watkins popped up with his second of the game seeming to send Sutton into a home tie with Kettering.

Again, no. With the game floating into injury time, another defensive slip let in the penalty scorer and extra time beckoned, as it did the last time we were here. It was significantly colder last night, though, brrrr, the first genuinely cold evening game this year, damn you seasonal change and your wicked gift of text-preventing chill.

The Blue Square South’s resident Grant Holt-alike, Craig Dundas, did his usual falling-over-far-too-easily schtick, which was a shame because he took quite a few genuine hits that the ref waved away with the air of a man who had been given “Didier Drogba’s DVD Dives” last Christmas and watched it intently every day since.  Having said that, Dundas, was asked to play up front and deeper in midfield at varying points in the game and his industry probably helped Sutton to finally edge ahead and see out the game.

Sutton controlled most of the first period of extra time and Fola Orilonishe scored the winner fairly early, captured here by one of the aforementioned snappers, Paul Loughlin. There were a few scares but Sutton’s superior nouse and fitness finally told at the third time of leading.

Three things to round this off. With the game at 1-1 and 2-1 people were filtering out. From both sets of fans. Are these people mental? It was barely 9:30, loads of trains were still running in either direction and this was a pulsating Cup tie that was either in the balance? Why on earth bother coming?  Anyhow, Leatherhead had opened the gates during the second half and as many people were coming in as going out, which was nice.

The second thing, we got speaking to a lovely old bloke before the game and he was regaling us with tales of Wimbledon’s legendary keeper Dickie Guy leaping the perimeter fence to throttle an abusive Leatherhead fan and how on some autumnal days the mist rolls off the adjacent river and smothers the dug outs. Have to go back for that.

Finally. Oh yes, there was a sending off when Leatherhead equalised. There was some shenangians between the benches when Sutton went in front late on and, when Leatherhead snatched the later equaliser, it all got norty and one of the Sutton subs, we think it was Wayne Shaw, got sent to the stands. As it happens, the stand was about a yard behind the dugout.

FA Cup Third Qualifying round time again and the players and officials of every team can be forgiven if their thoughts start to turn to the ‘propers’.  Win this game and they are 90 minutes away from that chance to draw a fallen giant *cough* Sheffield Wednesday or even a big local league side. The words ‘spinner’ and ‘money’ must also spring to mind for the officials, the words ‘TV’ and ‘live’ for the players.

We’re a whore for the underdog here so, in a rare moment of madness, we’ve decided to take a break and have a look at the big lads at this level. Who are the teams with FA Cup previous, who will the league clubs want to get a taste of their own giant killing medicine, if that’s not a contradiction in terms?

Lancaster City.v. FC Halifax
There have been fairly regular trips to the propers for City and in fact they were prevented from adding another journey by no other side than Halifax (Town) themselves, in 4th Qualifying in 1994.  On one of the occasions they did manage it, in 1972, they lost 2-1 to Notts Co in Round 2.  As Halifax Town, the Shaymen got to the 5^th Round in 1952/53, losing 3-0 to Spurs but having beaten Stoke and Swansea on the way.  They famously beat a troubled WBA in Round 1 in 1993 and, more amusingly, a less troubled Man City 1-0 in Round 3 in 1979/80.

Whitby Town .v. Blyth Spartans
This fixture has happened twice before – in 1967/68 in the 2nd Qualifying Round Whitby won 2-1 and in 1996/97 by the same margin for a place in the propers. When there they drew 0-0 with Hull City which didn’t really set up expectation for the replay, which featured a whopping twelve goals, finishing 8-4 to Hull.  Whitby beat the aforementioned Halifax 1-0 in Round 1 in 1983/84 before losing 1-0 to Wigan.

Given Blyth Spartans are one of the great giant killers in FA Cup history, you have to wonder how Whitby managed to twice beat them. They’ve got to the propers on numerous occasions and in 1977/78 equalled a non league record and got to the 5^th round. On the way they beat Chesterfield and Stoke before drawing 1-1 with Wrexham. The replay was put centre stage at St James’ Park Newcastle and Wrexham squeaked through 2-1.

The 5^th Round is the joint furthest a non league side has got in the modern era and the draw with Wrexham made Spartans the first one to make it into the Round 6 hat. Most recently they played Blackburn in Round 3 but probably the most notable thing about Blyth’s cup exploits is that, regardless of opposition, they’ve rarely been thumped by the bigger boys, even in defeat the games have been close and they’ve often taken teams to replays.

Cray Wanderers .v. Dartford
This one is a bit of a derby, despite Cray being based in Bromley at the moment. And, despite being one of the oldest clubs in the world, Cray’s FA Cup record is virtually non existent. 4th Qualifying round the best. Dartford of Blue Square South are almost non league mainstays in the competition, making the propers over 30 times. Despite the disparity in records, given the regional nature of the early rounds and the proximity of the clubs, it means this is the 4^th meeting in the FA Cup and the previous three happened within four seasons between 1960-64. Dartford took the first 5-4, Cray won the second 1-0 and Dartford thumped Cray 5-0 in the most recent.

Hyde .v. Bradford Park Avenue.
1956/57 will long be remembered by those fans of Hyde still alive to tell the tale.  It was a festival of goals. They played 10 FA Cup games that season, both they and the opposition scored in every game, there was at least 5 goals in every game, 71 in total and an average of 7 per tie.  Three of the ten games ended in 4-4 draws, two of those against Stalybridge Celtic alone.

(Kind of) Like Halifax, Bradford Park Avenue are the odd team out in this round, on account of them being a professional league side until 1970 and having finished 9th in the top flight on one occasion.  Consequently, their best-in-article Quarter Final appearances are less surprising than everyone else’s achievements.  However, their greatest Cup successes were when they were in the old Division 2.  In 1919/20 they lost 4-1 to Chelsea in the QF after beating Forest 3-0 and Notts Co 4-3. They beat Everton in 1923/23 and again got to the quarters in 1945/46 but lost 6-0 to Brum after a 2-2 draw at home. They returned to propers in 2003/04 but got humped 5-1 by Bristol City.

Slough Town .v. Hanworth Villa
They’ve fallen on hard times and they’ve been on here a few times this season but, once, Slough Town were a force. They’ve knocked out Wycombe, Walsall and Millwall and taken Cardiff, Orient, Reading and Macclesfield to replays. In contrast Hanworth Villa are in their inaugural FA Cup season and, with patronisation not intended, they’ve already done superbly well to get this far.

Hednesford Town .v. Corby
In the halcyon days of the mid/late 90s, Hednesford were a notorious Cup side, remember their famous, epic 3-2 loss to Middlesbrough in 1996/97?  They got to at least the 1^st round for the next four seasons too.  Corby themselves had a healthy Cup record in the post war years, culminating in a Round 2 replay victory over Luton in 1965/66.  Hednesford won the only FA Cup meeting between the sides, 3-1, in 1995/96.

Solihull Moors .v. Grantham Town
This could be a record at this stage … Grantham’s first ever FA Cup game was against Clapham Rovers in 1877. One hundred and thirty four years ago. We weren’t even alive then. They lost either 1-0 or 2-0 depending on who you believe, Rovers say 2, the Gingerbreads say 1. Who knows?  Since then they’ve accounted for Bradford Park Avenue, when they were good, and they also despatched Stockport and Rochdale between the mid 60s and 70s when they got to the propers 9 times in eleven years.

Billericay Town .v. Leatherhead
Billericay will be one of the more annoyed non league sides in the FA Cup.  They’ve twice got to the propers and twice drawn non league sides. No glory tie for them. They also lost both times. Doh!  Leatherhead are right up there with the giants though. In 1974/75 they got to Round 4 beating Brighton and Colchester before facing Leicester at Filbert Street. The tanners were even 2-0 up at one point but got pegged back to lose 3-2.  They got to the propers 6 times in 7 years after that.

Lowestoft Town .v. Chelmsford
Not really quite a derby but this one’s one of the hottest tickets of the round.  Town got to the propers twice in the 60s losing to Leyton Orient and Watford by just one goal. They managed the same in the 70s against Cambridge and recently aginst Wrexham. Like their Blue Square South foes Dartford, Chelmsford City have been regular toe-treaders in the FA Cup over the years. They  got to Round 4 in 1938/39 beating Darlington and Southampton.

Maldon & Tiptree .v. Hendon
Only recently merged neither Maldon nor Tiptree have done much in the FA Cup as a unit or individually. Hendon on the other hand are from the same semi-pro minefield as Chelmsford and Dartford. The Greens famously held Newcastle to a 1-1 draw at St James in Round 3 in 1973/74 and beat Reading 2 years later and Leyton Orient in 1997/98. Not only that but the club’s now sadly forgotten Claremont Road ground was opened to some fanfare for an FA Cup tie and provided the backdrop for Hendon’s largest attendance, 9000 against Northampton in the FA Cup.

Stourbridge .v. Evesham United
For a team that first entered the FA Cup in 1896 and has entered nearly 70 times, Stourbridge only managed to get past the fourth qualifying round two years ago when they drew near neighbours Walsall. They lost 1-0 but over 2000 people turned up to watch for the first time in over 30 years. It’s a similar story for Evesham, although they hadn’t quite been trying for as long and managed it a year earlier, losing 2-0 to Torquay. The two teams have met before, though, in 1995/96 when Evesham won 3-0 after a replay.

Nantwich Town .v. Kendal Town
Nantwich have only managed this stage before, so could be on the verge of greatness.  Kendal, though, were relative regulars in the first round proper (as Netherfield) between the 40s and 60s and twice got to the second round, including their record attendance versus Grimsby of 5184.  But we’ve included them here for their what-doesn’t-kill-you-makes-you-stronger attitude.  In 1980/81 before the stupid (or kind, as Kendal might be more apt to say) abolition of multiple replays, they managed a whopping 6 replays against Bridlington Trinity in the FA Trophy, which nearly killed them.  The postponed games and rearrangements cost them £1800 and they had to drop down a league the following season. Won’t happen this year though. Phew.

Sutton United .v. Bognor Regis Town
Still the last non league team to dump a top flight side out of the FA Cup.  And they were the current holders to boot. Much has been written about Sutton’s win over Coventry in 1988, my god even we’ve had a bash.  Bognor Regis are not short of giant killing themselves, in their heyday of the mid/late 80s they got to Round 1 five times, beating Swansea and Exeter along the way.

This is by no means an exhaustive list so if your team is in the hat, not on this page but has got some form in the propers, please feel free to add a comment. We could go on, of course, Dover were one of our teams of the season last year and don’t get a mention, but we can sense you nodding off … so [end].

With thanks to the superb Football Club History Database. Someone please keep this going and update, if only we had time …

Never, ever, in the time we’ve been doing this has there been a game where we didn’t have a beer before the game. There’s not been many where we haven’t had a beer at half time. There have been fairly few where we’ve not had a post-matcher.  Today we managed to fail all three. A new record.

I’ve never had shaking hands after a heavy night before, that is not a good sign, is it?  Simon was out all night dancing to young people’s music.  As a result … well, that didn’t go too well, did it?  The team that got us into all this got humped. Still can’t make up my mind if the scoreline was flattering, about right, or wildly conservative. In truth Sutton had a lot of chances, however, Dulwich also had some decent spells but lacked a quality final ball.

To be brutally honest, I could barely remember who I was … look at Simon’s photos instead.

The Real FA Cup Awards Part 3.

Our surprisingly successful poll (3,000 votes!) earlier in the year decided FC United of Manchester were the people’s choice for the most impressive team of the season in the early rounds of the Cup. Hythe Town came a fractional and deserved second. We spoke to people from both clubs as the first two parts of our season’s review and here’s the final instalment, our highlights of the year and our First Choice XI team of the year.

The Best Quintessentially English Day Out:
Carshalton v Chelmsford in the 4th Qualifying Round. Our new favourite pub replete with Lord Nelson ephemera, a beer festival, antique bar billiards and florins (old 10p pieces). This is how pre-match drinking should be. What followed was a cracking cup tie with a (mostly) jolly atmosphere, a bit of passion, an exciting finish, a very tall man and all imbued with the evocatively long shadows of autumnal sunshine. A rammed and happy post-match pub topped it off.

The Real FA Cup Award For Cockle Warming: Jonathan Haggart
This will come as no surprise for those of you who follow us on Twitter, we’ve mentioned this guy a lot. This is the tale of frustrated, not-quite-footballer and club secretary Jonathan Haggart. Presented with an empty sub slot on Glossop North End’s official FA team sheet due to lack of bodies, Jonathan cunningly filled that slot with his own name, entering into the club’s history as an unused substitute in an FA Cup match! Not jealous, much.

Best Lino: Paul John
Watching the officials warm up pre-match at Arundel we wondered why Father Jack was running around the pitch. Sorry, Paul, we mean no ill but the hair and the painstakingly accrued beer festival waist accessory was reminiscent of everyone’s favourite priest. When we saw him stride out with a flag in his hand, we raised a collective eyebrow. But he ran the line, and ran, and ran, and as far as we could tell had a flawless game with firmness, certainty, no fuss and great humour. We subsequently found out he is one of the most cherished and respected officials in the Sussex League, which speaks volumes. If Carlsberg made linos …

Best Pub: The Hope
Obviously The Hope in Carshalton with a nod to the Bank in Sutton where we not only had a fine beer but it was also where therealfacup met the actual FA Cup, Geoff Thomas, Tony Rains and, begorra, ONLY RAY BLOODY STUBBS!

Best Fans: Kingstonian
Picture the scene, a 4,722 capacity stadium with 312 people in it. A phrase including the words ‘wizards sleeve’ might spring to mind. Echo, echo, echo, echo … Kingsmeadow! We’d only ever seen Kingstonian away and they’d made a decent effort of spurring on their team at Margate’s Dreamland but that didn’t prepare us, or indeed Margate ‘keeper Jamie Turner, for what was about to occur. If you can’t get enough fans to fill a stand, you shrink the stand to fit the fans. Huddled together like iron filings behind the magnet of the goal, the pocket of 100 or so K’s fans sang throughout the game with a breadth of songs that would put most German teams to shame. They bantered with and appreciated the Margate keeper, sucked in the pelanties in the shoot out and energised a dreary, grey South West London night. A toot of the realfacup vuvuzela to anyone who was there that night! Good work lads.

Late notable mention to Harlow Town fans for their joyful shenanigans in the Ryman 1 North play-off semi finals.

Best New Ground: Woking
Hmmmm … Cray Wanderers was a joy in the late summer sun, as was seeing my (Damon) bike on telly chained to a football stand, but a rammed Kingfield Stadium on a cold misty evening as Woking took on League 1 pace setters Brighton was a corker. Not quite the Berlin derby but a very FA Cup-ish close second. This is why replays should NEVER, EVER be done away with, this is why the FA would be fools to deny the plucky underdog their payday at a big club. A cold, damp evening in an old-school non-league stadium as neutrals await a shock is an integral part of the Cup’s charm. Get rid of that and a key vestige of ‘magic’ disappears forever.

Best Team Performance: Cray Wanderers
Cray Wanderers v South Park. Plucky underdogs they may have been but South Park were a man to the good for 75 minutes of this match, which really evened it up. Yet, in the second half, Cray’s 10 men could and perhaps should have run out more than the 1-0 winners they finally did. A never surrender attitude and fantastically gung-ho approach to being down to ten men, 4-3-2, is the way forward – as Swansea showed in the Play Offs.

Best Goal: Julian Ashby
This one probably goes to Julian Ashby of Redbridge in their qualifying game against London Colney. We may have benefitted from a good sightline but, jinking past a few players, he cut into the box from the touch line, played a swift one-two and then slotted a deft little shot with slight curl across the keeper and into the corner. A peach.

Best Individual Performance: Jamie Turner
Jamie Turner of Margate .v. Kingstonian (FA Cup 2nd Qualifying Round). How many finger tip saves can a goalie make in one game? The answer is 74*. Add the blocked shots, claimed crosses and routine saves and Jamie Turner touched the ball more times than Xavi does in a whole season. *That might be slight Skyperbole but he was immense. Then saved two penalties in the shoot out and still lost!!

Meeting the FA Cup! Might have had a little tap when the bouncer, yes, the FA Cup has a bouncer, wasn’t looking. I won’t post the pictures, it was cheesy, well I was.

Worst Food: —-
Often on the road at lunchtime we didn’t frequently eat inside football grounds but there was some shocking fayre on offer around them or on the way to them. The pick of the heart attacks was Simon’s deep fried grease fest from the kebab shop outside Kingstonian’s Kingsmeadow ground, a place we’d never have gone near if Fat Boy’s Caff had been open but needs must and this unnamed place needs condemning.

Most Half Hearted Cup Exit: Sutton United
We’re most supportive of and sympathetic towards Sutton United usually but when not one but two of their own fans suggest it, we have to agree. Sutton United 1 Alton Town 2. Meek. Surrender.

Biggest SHOCK!
If we don’t pick FCUM’s hearty triumph over League 1’s Rochdale we’ll get lynched. So we will. After all, there was five divisions between them. However, special mentions also to Dover for beating Gillingham, a massive one in the eye for Scally. MASSIVE. And also to Hythe Town who beat Staines 2-0. 2009/10′s Giant Killers Killed.

Top Mascots: Jenny & The Gator
Non-League is not a hot spot for mascots but Haydon The Womble and York’s Yorkie The Lion were both nominated by their fellow furry friends, as were Jenny The Giraffe, and Howie the Hornet We only actually saw two this season so it’s a tie between the … errr … ‘gator from Margate, ‘Margator’ and Sutton United’s Jenny the Giraffe

The Graham Yapp Award For The Most Significant Hatrick Scored By Someone Whose Name Includes A Romantic Poet:
Byron Harrison – Carshalton 3 East Thurrock 2

Ludicrous Goal Scoring Exploits: Leyton Orient
You’ve been through 90 minutes of sheer hell, as some rapper once said in an ad for an energy drink, and you’ve taken a League One side to the limit. 2-2. 30 minutes of actual hell later and you’ve shipped six in extra time. Doh to Droylsden, 8-2 to Orient.

The Always Be Prepared Award:
Wembley FC spent the whole final training session in the lead up to the Cup opener learning some zonal marking moves to defend set pieces. 2 minutes into their tie with Witham, 1-0 down. Lost 3-0.

Best Flares:
Woking & Brighton get it for size, Harlow Town get runners up for ingenuity.

Thanks to everyone who’s contributed to the site this season, it’s been a joy, we’ll no doubt be back again next year going to some random grounds around the south east of England and, who knows, maybe further. To round this all off, here’s the best eleven players we’ve seen this year, not necessarily in the FA Cup mind. And to top it all off the newly created and highly prestigious <drum roll> ‘Player Of The Season’.

The Real FA Cup First XI:

GK: Jamie Turner (Margate) First name on the team sheet for keeping Kingstonian at bay with more saves than Robert Green made all season.

RB: Inigo Calderon (Brighton) Nullified Watford and yet still managed to start off Brighton’s good moves and get forward at will.
LB: Taricco (Brighton) Ahhhh, little Mo, out of retirement after 6 years, sets up a goal then gets sent off. Then scores the following week.
CB: Francis Duku (Dulwich Hamlet) Count Duku, immense (if a little erratic) at times but so good all defenders should be measured in Dukus.
CB: Rob Grove (Arundel) Libero of the Sussex League!! Who’d have thought?

RM: Paul Robinson (Whitley Bay) Well, he had to get in didn’t he? We interviewed him you know. Oh and he won a trinket again.
LM: Julian Ashby (Redbridge) Mazy run, tidy one-two, curled into the corner, picture postcard FA Cup dreams.
CM: Matt Gray (Kingstonian) The Boss. The non-league Glenn Hoddle. You need a defence splitting pass? Send for Matt! Although even he couldn’t find a way past Jamie Turner.

F: Jacob Walcott (Staines) Better than Theo, doesn;t have legs made of biscuit.
F: Paul Chow (Whitley Bay) This man knows where the goal is. By our reckoning another 30 goal season, scored in every round of the FA Vase, more goals at Wembley … what next?
F: Harrison (Carshalton) The Chelmsford defence didn’t even know where he was for most of the game at Colston Avenue.

therealfacup PLAYER OF THE SEASON – JAMIE TURNER (MARGATE)

If you’re a regular to this site you’ll know the Hamlet are our local side and we’ve written much about them, so this is pretty much the last you’ll hear of them in this piece.  Walton & Hersham on the other hand are unusual in that they are complete unknowns to us. Given our Ryman addiction in the last two years they are one of the few sides who have never turned our heads. So, we did some reading, and, of course, based it round our joy, the Old Jug, the FA Cup.

At step 4 in the football pyramid a lot of clubs have ‘their’ story of FA Cup greatness, their cup final, their defining moment.  The Swans of Walton & Hersham are no different. In fact, in the early 1970s they had more than their fair share of joy in the old jug and were rightly feared. They were a team that all 3^rd and 4^th tier clubs would gladly avoid.

Before that period of success, W&H got their first taste of the propers when they progressed through seven 1957 FA Cup games against the likes of fellow Ryman side Hastings, future winners Wimbledon and fellow giant killers Sutton United.  The 1^st Round brought Division 3 South side Southampton to Stompond but there was to be no shock yet, they lost 6-1 but had made their first mark.

It took a while for them to notch their second effort, mind, 12 years in fact.  The 1st Round saw them eventually lose to a high-flying but not yet fully-fledged football league club in Barnet. It was close though, they only lost 1-0 to that year’s FA Trophy finalists.  The following year, 1970 they dumped out Sutton United again, this time to book their place in the 1^st round. It was an inauspicious exit for Sutton who only eight months previously had been hosting eventual Cup winners ‘Don Revie’s Leeds’ at gander Green Lane in a 4^th round tie.  The draw was unkind, W&H failed to net a league side and ran into renowned FA Cup giant killers Telford.  They lost 5-2.

The following year they fell at the final qualifying hurdle but 1972 was the zenith – and they got their first league scalp.  Only a Division 4 side at the time Exeter City were nevertheless a good one, despite going through a period of struggling to get past non-league sides in the FA Cup. The Grecians crept past Crawley after a replay a year earlier and got knocked out by Alvechurch the year after the Swans beat them. But beat them they did, 2-1, and the Surrey side went on to lift the FA Amateur Cup with Dave ‘Harry’ Bassett in their ranks.

The ‘reward’ for their first proper giant killing was a shocker. Instead of getting the bounty of another, bigger league side, the Swans drew fellow giant killers Margate. Margate were probably equally as miffed at the time, they’d just knocked out the Welsh Swans, at that time in Division 3, and were certainly hoping to avoid the tricky prospect of the English variant. That season, though, was Margate’s, they beat W&H 1-0 and earned a plum 3^rd Round tie against Spurs, which of course they lost 6-0.

Before the lean times of the 80s and 90s set in, Walton & Hersham had one last tilt and this was, with hindsight, probably the most odd and remarkable.  In 1973, their fourth foray into Round 1 in five years, they were drawn against Brighton & Hove Albion.  Having held the Division 3 side at home it was feared that was probably going to be it for the Swans.  Brighton had a new manager who the season before was facing down Juventus in the European Cup, a certain Brian Clough. Clive Foskett scored a hatrick at the old Goldstone Ground but he wasn’t playing for Brighton, he was playing for Walton and they whacked Cloughie’s Seagulls 4-0.

In the next round W&H got another bum draw.  They were drawn to face brand new football league side Hereford United who were smack bang in the middle of their four year rise from Southern League to Division 2!  The Bulls ran out comfortable 3-0 winners and consigned Walton & Hersham to the doldrums for another 20 years.  So, from hammering a club managed by a League Champion, future European Cup winner and self confessed legend, W&H had just lost to a team who only a few months earlier were in reality just one tier above them in the football league pyramid. Funny old game, Saint.

The club regrouped in the mid-2000s with long serving player and current Kingstonian manager Alan Dowson at the helm before getting relegated again in 2007.

Back to the matter in hand, form is dicey among all three of the play off challengers.  Walton & Hersham have won just once in their last five but have drawn a few and have been muddling along. Burgess Hill Town have lost four of their last five and, a point against Dulwich aside, they have been woeful.  Hamlet have, frankly, come from a position that looked beyond them when they lost 2-1 at home to Worthing a few weeks ago and again when they could only draw with Burgess Hill Town last week. So, thanks to a few wins, in truth, Hamlet are in the best form of the three but aren’t exactly firing on all clinders, they have simply profited from the failure of others.

If we were betting men, we’d probably suggest that the game will be a draw and BHT will fail to beat a decent Ramsgate side who are just two points behind them but who mathematically can’t quite reach the play offs themselves. But, hey, this is effectively a cup final so anything can happen.

Ryman Division 1 South
Walton & Hersham .v. Dulwich Hamlet
Saturday 30^th April, 3pm, £8
Walton-on-Thames is the closest rail station, 25-34 mins from Waterloo depending which train you get.  We’ve been recommended the Ashley Park pub near the station and reckon we should be there by about midday, though there does appear to be several decent boozers nearer the town centre and towards the river.

Craven Cottage – Fulham v Swindon – FA Cup

While Simon was away gadding about the nether regions of the world, Damon continued to keep it real by … errrr … starting the year at a Premier League Ground! Tsk! We usually want the underdog to win but, having no real connection to Swindon, this time we had half an eye on the underdog getting their noses rubbed in it. Swindon surprised us with some good footy and we changed our minds. Nice branded plastic pints in an SS style at the Cottage!

Alwyns Lane – Chertsey v Whitley Bay – FA Vase

Back to reality and a ball gets blasted in to Tree Z. Our first proper foray into the FA Vase. Moneybags Chertsey couldn’t stretch to a special get-a-ball-out-of-a-tree-stick so someone resorted to using a thingamyjig. The natives sang songs about the north being a strange place, which upset Whitley Bay native Adele’s first non-league experience. It was tiresome after the first twenty minutes.

?????? – Ryman League

Great PA Systems of our time – a realfacup badge to anyone who can name the ground we visited on this derby day in February? And if you can name the PA then do get in touch! It was a sunny/rainy/windy/warm/cold day in winter/spring/summer. I fell over in the club bar and tipped beverage all over the shop. Missed the start of the second half, not for the last time this year. No link this time, you’ll have to find it for yourself! Mind you, we went to the reverse fixture on New Year’s Day, like just now.

Wembley – Cardiff v Blackpool – Championship Play Off Final

A sea of orange as we watched a bigger-than-usual underdog steamroller their way in to the Premier League. We played this one in classic realfacup style by joining the Tangerines for a few pre-match liveners in the sun. Cracking game topped off by the unforgettable sight of 30,000 baffled fans struggled to come to terms with what had just happened and what the win meant. Top class day out. We didn’t bother with a report for some reason but previewed here and also see the Mysterious Tangerine’s Postcard From The Premier League

Mill Road – Arundel v Hailsham – FA Cup

Sussex lino legend and Father Jack lookalike, Paul John, gets much love from therealfacup and local footy clubs. On another cool but sunny but wet but warm and wasp-riddled day, non-league tactics were ramped up a notch with the deployment of a libero. Worked a treat as well as Arundel marched through. Lots of wasps.

Gander Green Lane – Sutton v Staines – Pre-Season Friendly

Match sponsor? Boys footy bible for posters, Match Magazine! St Johns ambulance, thrilled with Sutton v Staines. Is it just us or does one of them look like Matt Lucas?

Cobham – The Running Mare – Pre-FA Cup

Ahh, the glory of metaphor. The rainbow signifies the proverbial pot of gold, of course. But what lies at the end of this rainbow? Why, it’s Chelsea’s Cobham training ground, of course. Perfect and poetic. Our destination? Just yards away at Mole Valley’s rudimentary but homely ground. Two worlds collide.

King George’s Field – Corinthian-Casuals v Lingfield – FA Cup

Non League in a nut shell at Corinthian-Casuals. One man? Check. His dog? Check. Any paying customers? Errr … just about. As well as four realfacupsters there were 56 others. How on earth do Corinthian Casuals survive?

Champion Hill – Dulwich Hamlet v Tonbridge – FA Cup.

The Wall lured Damon in at this game but it was a nervy affair for the Hamley faithful. Youth teamers tried to get in the photo. Beer by the touchline? I’ll have a cheeky pint please. Not the best afternoon for Dulwich.

The Bank Pub – Sutton

Ray Stubbs talks to inanimate objects. The FA Cup ponders a while. Errr, I don’t know where this is going. The Actual FA Cup meets therealfacup.

Hayes Lane – Cray Wanderers v South Park – FA Cup

therealfacup gets the death stare from the Cray Wanderers bench.Eek! We were a little perturbed. But we’re still here and there was only a small fence separating us from certain death. And it were on’t telly!

Imperial Fields – Tooting & Mitcham v Staines – FA Cup

It’s not a great time to be a Tooting fan but … this chap takes isolation to new levels. Did he smell? Santa chilling out? Nice rolly up troozaz. Smashing.

Margate – Margate v Kingstonian – FA Cup

Sunny Margate in September. This Kingstonian sub is messing with the head of a subbed team mate. Flick that window shut. Wait for it to be opened again. Flick window shut. Giggle.

Kingsmeadow – Kingstonian v Margate – FA Cup Replay

Oh my!  Tubby keeper + Burger hut can only mean one thing. Unkind photo composition. Margate’s nearly-hero Jamie Turner needs a thought cloud round that. Jamie had a blinder. He took some good-natured stick off the K’s fans then couldn’t quite keep out the required number of penalties. Although his team mates could have helped by actually scoring some.

Church Road – Hayes & Yeading v Wycombe – FA Cup

The thin lime green lime, I mean line. Hayes & Yeading get a crowd for the first time this season. Wycombe Wanderers turn up mob handed and old bill shows force.

Earlsmead – Harrow Boro v Chesterfield – FA Cup

Television glamour comes to therealfacup. Red-ish carpet! Actually a plastic mat. Ken Charlery deserved better. We deserved access to the VIP lounge, as did our cohorts for the day from twofootedtackle and lastseatontheplane. Tish.

Kingfield Stadium – Woking v Brighton – FA Cup Replay

Ahhh, now there are memories. Flares on the pitch. Lighting up the foggy evening sky. Woking v Brighton. And little Mo Taricco gets his first run out in some years. And sets up a goal. And got sent off. Thoroughly entertaining fayre.

Woking 2 Brighton 2 AET – Brighton win on pens.

Gander Green Lane – Sutton v Wealdstone – Ryman League

Ever wanted to see a Mascot in the crowd? Here’s Jenny The Giraffe at Sutton v Wealdstone. Oh – and we missed another goal!

See more of therealfacup’s pictures on our Facebook Page and our Picasa Page.

While everyone and all of their dogs were watching the dying embers of The Real FA Cup, we were in Sutton getting back to Ryman business.

Over the last few years we’ve become a bit partial to Ryman action, most of the teams are enjoyable to watch and there are usually enough fans to generate a bit of atmosphere. 570 today! And you rarely pay more than a tenner. The Premier Ryman is often as good a footballing VFM as you’ll get in England but the modernists and football elitists want to drive a stake between this level and the European Money Leagues.

We’ve mentioned elsewhere how goal line technology is unnecessary. This is not necessarily because of any misty-eyed longing to keep the game as it is but, simply, because so few game-changing decisions warrant this draconian technology. There are only a handful of games per season where this tech would lead to a fairer result – and fewer where it would affect the outcome of a tournament. In the grand scheme of things, bad offside decisions, dodgy penalties and sendings off change games unfairly more frequently but yet no one seems to want to sort them out with video technology.

However, any new form of technology is only ever going to be applied to the games that have TV cameras present and, even then, there would need to be an extra two at least. But there is already a technology gap between the leagues at top and further down and that doesn’t need widening because it could easily create two tiers of football, rather than a pyramidal system.

The technology gap we’re talking about refers to electronic scoreboards. Huh? How is that a problem, I hear you cry? Well, this is why …

Despite the three goals, the first half of this game was engaging without being particularly entertaining. Sutton had the vast majority of possession but didn’t create much, which was partly down to the paucity of final ball but mostly down to some staunch defending.

Arsene Wenger would have accused Wealdstone of playing anti-football and, while on one level it is an annoying way to set about a game of football, you can’t really criticise a mid-table team at least starting out in this manner when away at the league leaders. It doesn’t provide much entertainment though.

Fair play, the game plan worked perfectly because Wealdstone troubled Scriven in the Sutton goal on just two occasions and scored both times, after which the game started to open up a bit. The Stones grew in confidence while Sutton’s desperation to get more men forward was leaving gaps that went unpunished thanks to a few unnecessary offsides. This new Stones adventure, ironically, led to the game saving goal at the other end that meant the second half would be more of a game. A looping header from Forbes on 44 minutes pleasingly slipped in off the underside of the bar.

HT – Sutton United 1 Wealdstone 2

Having already crammed in two pre-journey pints and one pre-match pint, we decided to cram in one half time pint. We did so unsuccessfully and missed the first few minutes of the second half. And here is where it all went horribly and amusingly wrong and amateurish thanks to the lack of technology. We could pretend this didn’t happen but why the hell should we? We aren’t the BBC.

The second half continued in the same vein and with an hour gone James Hammond diverted a harmless cross back towards his own goal to where he must have thought his keeper was. He wasn’t and the ball trundled into the corner. 2-2 and Wealdstone were now in a spot of bother.

Wealdstone were now defending for their lives trying to hold on to the point but were keeping Sutton’s waves at bay. Sutton’s forays were getting closer and closer as they committed more players and they almost paid when, over-committed, gave the ball to Spendlove who broke clear, drew the keeper and opted for the chip that appeared to be goal-bound before it just bounced past the post. That would have been game over.

Sutton’s now hopeful punts and long shots were going out for goal kicks but as injury time neared their accuracy increased and they were rewarded with a corner. It looked like Stones would hold out, they were defending well and were getting the luck. The corner was cleared and the second cross was headed on to the post by Dundas but when it looked like they’d escaped again Downer turned in the rebound to send the Sutton fans mad.

With that we started heading towards the bar and just as we got to the tunnel we witnessed Sutton sealing the deal. The players seemed to go unusually bonkers for what was a sealer rather than a winner but we left them to it and went to get to the front of the beer queue.

Having sat around chatting and watching Jeff for 10 minutes we overheard someone referring to the fantastic 4-3 win. We frowned a little and assumed he was referring to some other game somewhere. It turns out he wasn’t. With the slight delay in getting back out we’d missed the goal of the game, a 47th minute rasper from Spendlove after cutting in from the left.

So, the game was actually 4-3, not 4-2 and all of a sudden things started to make sense. The ten minutes we spent talking to a less than enthusiastic Sutton fan could be explained by the fact that it wasn’t a tense 1-2 but a rather less hopeful 1-3. The celebration being greater for the last minute last goal than for the penultimate goal was explained by the fact that it was not the 4-2 sealer but the 4-3 winner!

Incidentally, we also missed the shenanigans at the celebration of that goal. Apparently, the Sutton players went mad and allegedly goaded the Stones fans.

However, had Sutton had access to some modern technology in the form of an electronic scoreboard, these misunderstandings would never have happened. Before FIFA start pfaffing around with goal line technology, or even offside/sending off/penalty technology, they need to spend some of the GAZILLIONS of $$$$$ they made from the World Cup in supplying all league affiliated clubs with an electronic scoreboard so that the lazy amateurs like us don’t get stuff wrong. Thankfully, the brilliant visionary that is Sepp Blatter is railing against this technology that will create a further divide between the haves and heave nots.

<sarcasm:off>

There may be a story to be had on the amount of added time the ref stuck on in order for the final goal to be scored. Maybe he added 3 extra minutes because we missed 3? [smile]  Some comments were made on Twitter by a few Stones players but they were deleted before we saw and we only heard stuff second or third hand at the end of the game. So don’t ask us to expand on it because we don’t know – and we’re not just fence sitting. It is fair to say Sutton players were ‘chuffed’ at the end but they perhaps deserved their final two goals as little as the Stones deserved their first two. Both situations were football muggings.

Aside from that, Wealdstone’s gaffer being accidentally pole-axed by a sliding tackle and Jenny The Giraffe getting busy with some fans were highlights of a decent enough game but one that didn’t quite take off as much as the scoreline would suggest. Although given we missed the good bits, maybe others thought it did!

At the end of the game we Tweeted “We thought it was 4-2, apparently we missed a goal, 4-3 to Sutton.”  We got some stick for amateurism and here are a selection of the printable responses our error generated:

@therealfacup you guys!

Top notch as ever RT @therealfacup: We thought it was 4-2, apparently we missed a goal, 4-3 to Sutton.

@therealfacup gotta love football without electronic scoreboards.

@therealfacup Ouch, the scoreline made the game what it was! Which goal did you miss? There were 2 at around 20-30 mins then 1 in 2nd half.

@therealfacup How the heck did that happen? Doh!

Massive thanks as ever to Gerard at Sutton, helpful chappy.

The FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round – Now some decent business starts.  This is when the fans start turning up, this is when hints of giant killers start to manifest.  South Park, thus far have shown pedigree above their station in the Cup.  As have London Colney. This round sees the prize money leap to a most welcome, indeed necessary, £3000 fillip.

Redbridge v London Colney
Our Saturday game this round sees us traipse over to East London, somewhere we haven’t really been yet. Redbridge started life as Ford United and Ford Motors, quite logically linked to the massive car plant that enveloped Dagenham and its surrounding area for decades. Much needed jobs and a lot of the plant has since disappeared so the club took the decision in 2004 to rename the team to reflect the local community rather than the dying industry behemoth.

In the mid 90s Ford Utd were going through some tricky financial times when relatively new and cutting edge football broadcaster Sky Sports bought up a lucrative and very late sponsorship deal that saved the club. Yep, you read that right, Sky Sports saves non-league football club. No, we couldn’t quite believe it either. Although we did believe it more than we believed Alan Pardew was Palace’s party animal ring leader.

In recent years Redbridge have been sliding down the football pyramid with two recent relegations.  Former Wimbledon and Bolton striker Dean Holdsworth cut his managerial teeth at the Oakside stadium and stopped that slide by taking the Motormen to 3rd in the Ryman 1st Division North. He’s since gone on to much acclaim at a resurgent Newport County and Redbridge have slipped back again.

London Colney are two steps lower on the pyramid and should be put to bed. BUT, the FA Cup isn’t like that and Redbridge’s Adam Dennehey acknowledged that they noted the Blueboys away win at Southern League side Marlow 2-1 in the previous and so will not be underestimating them.

Adam is well aware this could be a tricky tie, especially given Colney’s 7-0 midweek league win and that Colney beat Marlow despite having their keeper Mark Whittamore taken to hospital with a ruptured spleen. With no other keeper available Whittamore was replaced by an outfield player for remainder of the game. Ironically, and bafflingly, the Colney manager Julian Robinson was sacked after the game!  We’re led to believe this was down to a disagreement with the club’s hierarchy about the quality of close season signings but, on the evidence of the last couple of weeks, the signings seem to have done pretty well.

Yeah, yeah, we’re showing some favouritism here, we’ve featured Sutton twice already this season. But we have some photos and want to use them. A cracking time was had by us and the Sutton fans on Wednesday night when they hosted U’s FA Cup legend Tony Rains, Palace hero Geoff Thomas, football dad Ray Stubbs and the FA Cup itself. All shiny it was. Whether it was the real one we’ll never know but it was well polished and large men in black suits told us not to touch it. We did though. Fuck you, AUTHORITY!!

Anyway, the football match … Sutton are firing on many cylinders, striker Richard Jolly, one of our favourite Tweeting footballers, is bashing in the goals (4 in 6 games) and Sutton are top of the Ryman Premier League. Alton, on the other hand are sieve-like and two tiers lower in the pyramid. This could be a mauling but this is the FA Cup and in the previous round Alton, without a win in the league managed to beat a Ryman team half way up the league above. So, beware. We must give a quick mention for the lovely Jenny The Giraffe, Sutton’s mascot.

Tadcaster Albion v Shildon
If the mighty viaduct isn’t enough to drag you along to Tadcaster, maybe the oldest independent brewery in Yorkshire will?  If not that, then what about the fact that said brewery, and two others, flog their wares in the local pubs at about half the price you’ll buy them in your own local?  Sold?  Good! But if that’s still not enough then how about popping along to watch the current Northern Counties East Division 1 champions who have scored nine goals in their last two home games? Shildon sit atop Northern League Division 1 so not only could this be a cheap day out, it could also be a cracking one. And Lee Chapman plays for Shildon. Sadly not THAT one.

West Auckland Town v Bradford (Park Avenue)
As we’ve said in our ITV preview, West Auckland, believe it or not, were the ‘First World Cup Winners’ . The Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy was, technically, neither the first international tournament (that was the year before and only happened once) nor did it feature worldwide teams. The teams were only from Europe, there were only four of them and they weren’t exactly European behemoths in the first tournament in 1909.  However, two years later, in the second and final tournament, West easily won through against FC Zurich and then hammered Juve 6-1 in the final.

There are a few clubs in the competition who can claim to be former league clubs but Park Avenue are and possibly the only ones to have finished 9th in the First Division. Yeah, yeah, back in the day anyone could be in the first division but this wasn’t quite the dusty old times of football’s pre-history, it was in 1915 after they event of professionalism and PA had to gain promotion from Division 2 to achieve it.

One of the stars of that 1915 team, Donald Simpson Bell, left his cosy life behind to become the first professional footballer to enlist for the Great War. Within a year, Simpson Bell was bogged down in the Somme in gun to hand combat with the Bosch. In July 1916 he led an audacious/brave/foolish charge across no man’s land to take an enemy machine gun post by force, shooting the gunner, blowing up 50 soldiers and destroying the gun with grenades. For this wanton act of near suicide Simpson Bell received the Victoria Cross for ‘Conspicuous Bravery’. We’re not remotely belittling Donald’s bravery but you’ve all read of the perils of unprotected no man’s land and, after another spun of Russian roulette five days later, he was sadly but inevitably gunned down.

Glossop North End v Mossley AFC
Any regular readers and Twitter followers will be more than aware of GNE’s fantastic award winning pies and probably of legendary blagger and blogger Haggis In Ponderland. Mr Haggis is a deep cover insider at Glossop and his position, combined with fortune, opportunity and (I hope he doesn’t mind me saying) some massive bollocks, meant he could pencil his name into the final line on Glossop’s under strength team so he was officially a sub in a recent FA Cup game. He’s far more eloquent than us so read his account of it here.

GNE themselves have  made very hard work of the FA Cup this season. Having been effectively out of the Cup at 90 minutes in both of their games, it’s perhaps little surprise that with so many late goals, the vast majority of goals they’ve scored have been by subs – 6 out of 7 and the other one was in extra time so obviously doesn’t count. SO, ALL of GNE’s FA Cup goals this year have been scored by subs.

Mr Haggis, or Jonathan Haggart to give him his undercover pseudonym, not only entertains us with his blog but also proved exceptionally helpful to us Southerners with no idea about Vodkat. He gave us the lowdown on Glossop a bit of history of local rivalries and some good links to bloggers of all the local sides. Top notch – and for that simple reason GNE get our backing this weekend.

North End’s natural, historical rivals are over the hills a few miles and are New Mills. Until recently they’ve had quite a lean … errr … half a century and Mossley briefly took their place as GNE’s derby day excitement. They’ve never faced each other in the Big Ol’ Jug but form and history is firmly on the home side. Having bigged up GNE and Jonathan’s blog we have to spare a thought for poor Mossley fans, never more amusingly led than by the increasingly downtrodden Mossley80. Well worth a read for the sometimes  miserable existence of non-league, or indeed any, fans.

Curzon Ashton v New Mills
With an unusually Northern bent to this week’s preview, we now include the other GNE rival, New Mills.  We’ll start with Curzon, though, because they have some quality, recent previous when it comes to Giant Killing.  Just two years ago Gambian international James Ogoo scored the winner for Ashton when they beat League 2 side Exeter 3-2. He’ll need to have visited his beanstalk on Saturday though because New Mills have started the season in as good form as any team in the country. Their phenomenal early season record is: won every game they’ve played, five points clear at the top of the Vodkat North West Counties Premier League and in the Extra Preliminary Round of the FA Cup they thumped Alsager 10-2. Eek!

Cray Wanderers v South Park
We’re off to this game on Sunday, assuming the frickin’ trains allow us. If not, the Zeitgeist cycle method of football transport will have to be dragged out of the shed. South park are still on ITV’s Road To Wembley and, as we predicted last week , they travel to Cray Wanderers, one of the old ladies of the FA Cup. This year historic Cray celebrate 150 years of existence and are the 2nd oldest club in the world. South Park are three tiers below chocolate-shirted Cray in the football pyramid but completely annihilated Ryman League (Div 1 Sth) Horsham YMCA in the last round so who knows what will happen here. Maybe South Park are this year’s Paulton Rovers or Havant & Waterlooville?

As a post-script to today’s preview we’d like to take a moment to reflect. After the massive buzz non-league football got out of Non-League Day, it was brought crashing down to earth with two pieces of bad news. There are others but these two the only ones that directly affect the FA Cup.

RIP Rams & Robins
The clouds descended over Croydon Athletic’s owner Mazhar Majeed when he was honeytrapped by the News of the World and embroiled in cricket’s latest match fixing scandal. A side issue to the cricket hordes, it was then noticed he’d boasted of laundering money through his football club. Oh dear. Croydon has resigned from the FA Cup, postponed all games and appear, at worst, to be heading for football’s exit door.

After all that misery we were hoping that a team we saw last year, Ilkeston Town, would be given the benefit of the doubt and have a stay of execution over the money troubles. The courts had other ideas and they were wound up over a £50k tax debt which effectively terminates their 116 year  history.  Very sad. Spare a thought for fans of these teams and maybe rein in the expectations you have for your own club. Stretch too far and the elastic snaps. Some people just haven’t got a clue.

Check us out on the ITV website and go to the FA site for the full fixture list.

If you have any questions comments or ephemera give us a Tweet.

Roll on the weekend!