Just ask Bognor.

2 points clear at the top and preparing for Ryman Premier League status going into the last game of the season, they contrived to draw 1-1 away at Chatham Town, allowing the Met Police to steal (ahem) the only automatic promotion spot by a single goal on goal difference. Three days later, the West Sussex side were unceremoniously dumped out of the play offs in the semi final by Dulwich Hamlet – a team that finished an incredible 31 points behind them.

But then again, just ask Dulwich.

When we visited Champion Hill back in early April, the motivation was a chance to enjoy some football in the sun rather than an opportunity to view prospective promotion candidates. They were sitting mid table as usual, apparently too far from the play-off spots to care about a 2-1 home reverse against Worthing. But a spectacular collapse by those above, a few wins on the trot and a neat 2-0 away victory at Walton & Hersham on the last day enabled Hamlet to light up (bear with me, the puns may well remain at this tortured level for some time) their fans’ season and earned them a spot in the play-offs. The aforementioned victory over those with the crushed spirits on the South coast offered a one-off chance for promotion which could never have seemed possible a few weeks ago.

We do try to maintain some level of journalistic even-handedness at the games we attend. But the Hamlet are our local side and for once, I think we can be forgiven for siding with those in pink and blue.

There are those (us included, at times) who think that the play-offs are not a fair way to decide who is promoted after a season of effort but few can deny the regularity with which they provide genuine drama and excitement for both the die-hard fans and the neutral alike. Today was to be no exception.

A visit to what was billed as “the best pub in Leatherhead” left me wondering what the alternatives were like after my “Spicy Nachos” turned out to be Doritos laced with gallons of tomato ketchup but this was soon forgotten as we approached the Tanner’s Fetcham Grove stadium to be greeted with something which warmed our hearts after some paltry attendances earlier in the season. A QUEUE!

The sun was out, Leatherhead hadn’t graced the division above for 28 years and the fans were actually having to queue up to gain access to the ground. Joyous.

Fetcham was a new ground for us and it fits the bill – decent bar, nice setting, some proper stands and an excellent raised grass bank around two sides of the pitch from which to view the entertainment. And entertainment really was the correct word.

The home side looked far better than the Hamlet early on but it was the visitors that took the lead after 20 minutes through Gary Drewett. They doubled their lead a minute before half time as we made our way round the pitch in the direction of the bar – Vernon Francis hitting a shot on the turn and celebrating in fine style in front of us.

Dulwich’s confidence was growing but they were pegged back just before the break by a superb Greg Andrews shot from the edge of the box. 2-1 to the Hamlet at half time and this was developing into a very decent game.

Despite the scoreline, Lev Red (as the home fans seemed to think they were called) were certainly giving Dulwich some problems and it was somewhat of a surprise when the two goal advantage was restored by Drewett early in the 2nd half. As the game wore on, it was Dulwich that looked more likely to score and the away fans were beginning to celebrate. How had they managed to even be here in the first place? It was truly staggering and led me to curse them using the Power Of Twitter.

At 16:40, I wrote

I think dulwich are actually gonna do this. amazing.

A few minutes later, Lev Red were level. I blame myself. Actually, that’s not quite true – my friends blamed me. Which was nice.

A lengthy stoppage or two earlier in the game had meant that there were to be 9 minutes of injury time. Kev Terry put one in with 7 minutes to go and, as the game dragged on into the night (it seemed) he bagged another to even things up.

By 5 o’clock, people were beginning to wonder what was going on. “Has the ref just gone straight on into extra time?” was one confused utterance from one of the Dulwich supporters behind me in the Bernard Edward Stand. Eventually, the man in black did bring an end to things and we were to be treated to another half an hour. A few minutes before, Dulwich must have been wondering how they would fare in the division above. Now they were heading for extra time with their heads hanging and the home crowd more excited and vocal than ever.

There was to be no fairytale comeback. We’ve all seen these type of situations before. Terry completed his hat trick in the first half and, despite some frantic goalmouth action in the last minutes, the Tanners won 4-3 and next season will play in the Ryman Premier for the first time since 1983.

At the final whistle, fans streamed onto the pitch in celebration. Even the man on crutches managed to scramble over the wall to join in with the players.

Manager Gavin Rose looked almost tearful as he made his way to the Dulwich fans for a group hug and the players were crestfallen.

They’d very nearly pulled off the impossible.

Leatherhead had only finished a mere 23 points ahead of them and Dulwich were probably the better side for much of the game. They were leading 3-1 with 8 minutes to go. But, even as a fan of the Hamlet, you have to say that justice was done.

Just.

Despite Chertsey’s good run and the fact we’re feeling dead Christmassy now, part two of our half term report continues with shuddering recollections of the stultifying tedium of the first ever Friday night game at Alwyns Lane. Sampled by just one regular realfacupster, Chertsey .v. The Rozzers of the Met bore all the hallmarks of classic lower league fayre. The game time changed, not on police advice but with police acceptance.  You couldn’t go much further up the pyramid and still find a game moved because one of the players was getting married on the Saturday, that stuff waits until the end of the season.  The game was, however, dire.

Chertsey though are full of Christmas cheer too now. Into the 4th round of the FA Vase, 3rd in the Combined Counties Premier League where the Curfews have lost just once at home and are on a run of 8 wins in 11. The Met, meanwhile, find themselves a bit more cheerless. They usually find themselves at the higher end of mid table in Ryman 1 South but this season they find themselves in the lower half having won just 2 of their last 10 games. One of their main problems of late has been scoring.  The talismanic Frankie Sawyer is still top scorer having rattled in 5 league goals from just 7 starts and 3 late surges from the bench during the early season.  However, Frankie left the club some months ago and they’ve struggled to score since.

The Met’s loss has been Dulwich Hamlet’s gain, although in terms of goals only very recently.  Sawyer left the Met to head up Champion Hill, where he has taken time to settle but has now got his first goals. Like the fuzz, Hamlet have a tendency to be at the business end of Ryman 1 South’s mid-table-ness but find themselves a little off the pace after an up and down first half to the season.

A few points above the Met, Gavin Rose’s new young team had a run of five successive draws in October that showed they were becoming difficult to beat but their 3 wins and 3 defeats since then suggest they haven’t quite got the hang of both preventing goals and scoring themselves in the same game. However, the high point so far is that two of those three wins have been in the last two weeks and Sawyer has started scoring.

The low point came in early November in the London Senior Cup when, at home to South Kilburn of the Hellenic League some 4 levels lower down the pyramid, Hamlet contrived to lose 2-1 in a game some at the club were calling their worst result ever.   Since though they have now finally won at home, which they hadn’t yet done this season and Rose is now talking of a promotion push. It’s a long shot because they are probably going to have to win 18 of their remaining 22 games to stand a chance.

Finally, we visited Sevenoaks’ quirky ground on the first chilly night of the year. We say chilly but the kind of chilly that requires a hoody, not the kind of chilly that currently grips the nation in it’s icy fist.  Sevenoaks lie 3^rd in the Bulmers Cider Kent League Premier Division but way off runaway leaders Faversham.  With the league position and Billy Shinners rattling in the goals at a heavy rate, it’s surprising that a town the size of Sevenoaks is attracting an average of just 64 paying fans per league game. That’s probably about a third of Hamlet’s who have far more competition for fans’ hard earned.

If you’re a fan of any of these teams and we’ve missed some notable yarns from the seasons, stick them in the commenst below or mail us. Next time, the first qualifying round.

According to one of the Police supporters, one of the Chertsey players is tying the knot tomorrow and has invited most of the team to the wedding so the club requested that the game be rescheduled for the Friday night. Despite the fact that this might be seen as an advantage to the Police team (due to their expected involvement in the Notting Hill Carnival this weekend), one of their fans told me that he thought they’d “been stitched up” in a situation reminiscent of a scene from The Bill.

Remarkably, the cost of a South West Trains ticket from Vauxhall to Chertsey was almost twice as much as I was charged to get in to the ground to see the game! I arrived in Chertsey with just enough time to avail myself of a fish and chip supper from the local chippie. The fish was outstanding but the chips left a lot to be desired. The ground, buried slightly out of the town centre of a very quiet Surrey town looks old, much of it in a poor state of repair. However, the bar was nice, despite the lack of an inside toilet! They also have a very passable main stand, from which I watched the first half.

A very turgid 45 minutes passed with little incident of note bar a yellow card for a lunging challenge on a Curfew player early on and some tedious midfield scrapping until the half was lit up by a superb run and shot from Andy Crossley in the Chertsey midfield. Collecting the ball just inside the Met’s half, he cut inside and dribbled the ball past 2 Policemen (probably) before shooting from the edge of the area and was extremely unlucky to see his shot rebound off the base of the keeper’s left post.

The 2nd half was little different from the first – precious few opportunities came the way of either team, despite some early sustained possession for Chertsey against their rivals from the division above. Just when they seemed to be building up some pressure on the Met defence though, the Police managed to create their first meaningful chance of the game. The ball came in from the right hand side and, after a goalmouth scramble, striker Frankie Sawyer lashed the ball into the net from 6 yards to the delight of the sparse collection of coppers and ex-coppers (I assume – surely no-one supports the Police except other Police?!) around me, one of which it turned out, was his Dad (Superintendant Sawyer maybe?). Later on, another of the Police fans told Sawyers’ father that it was “a great finish” which was over-egging the pudding somewhat, I felt.

The game meandered to a close in the end with Chertsey creating barely any chances to force a replay and the Police ran out 1-0 winners and will travel to Tonbridge to play the Angels in the next round. I’m sure there’s yet another Police joke in there about Angels but its late and I can’t, for the life of me, think of what it could be.

Simon