FA Cup Third Qualifying round time again and the players and officials of every team can be forgiven if their thoughts start to turn to the ‘propers’.  Win this game and they are 90 minutes away from that chance to draw a fallen giant *cough* Sheffield Wednesday or even a big local league side. The words ‘spinner’ and ‘money’ must also spring to mind for the officials, the words ‘TV’ and ‘live’ for the players.

We’re a whore for the underdog here so, in a rare moment of madness, we’ve decided to take a break and have a look at the big lads at this level. Who are the teams with FA Cup previous, who will the league clubs want to get a taste of their own giant killing medicine, if that’s not a contradiction in terms?

Lancaster City.v. FC Halifax
There have been fairly regular trips to the propers for City and in fact they were prevented from adding another journey by no other side than Halifax (Town) themselves, in 4th Qualifying in 1994.  On one of the occasions they did manage it, in 1972, they lost 2-1 to Notts Co in Round 2.  As Halifax Town, the Shaymen got to the 5^th Round in 1952/53, losing 3-0 to Spurs but having beaten Stoke and Swansea on the way.  They famously beat a troubled WBA in Round 1 in 1993 and, more amusingly, a less troubled Man City 1-0 in Round 3 in 1979/80.

Whitby Town .v. Blyth Spartans
This fixture has happened twice before – in 1967/68 in the 2nd Qualifying Round Whitby won 2-1 and in 1996/97 by the same margin for a place in the propers. When there they drew 0-0 with Hull City which didn’t really set up expectation for the replay, which featured a whopping twelve goals, finishing 8-4 to Hull.  Whitby beat the aforementioned Halifax 1-0 in Round 1 in 1983/84 before losing 1-0 to Wigan.

Given Blyth Spartans are one of the great giant killers in FA Cup history, you have to wonder how Whitby managed to twice beat them. They’ve got to the propers on numerous occasions and in 1977/78 equalled a non league record and got to the 5^th round. On the way they beat Chesterfield and Stoke before drawing 1-1 with Wrexham. The replay was put centre stage at St James’ Park Newcastle and Wrexham squeaked through 2-1.

The 5^th Round is the joint furthest a non league side has got in the modern era and the draw with Wrexham made Spartans the first one to make it into the Round 6 hat. Most recently they played Blackburn in Round 3 but probably the most notable thing about Blyth’s cup exploits is that, regardless of opposition, they’ve rarely been thumped by the bigger boys, even in defeat the games have been close and they’ve often taken teams to replays.

Cray Wanderers .v. Dartford
This one is a bit of a derby, despite Cray being based in Bromley at the moment. And, despite being one of the oldest clubs in the world, Cray’s FA Cup record is virtually non existent. 4th Qualifying round the best. Dartford of Blue Square South are almost non league mainstays in the competition, making the propers over 30 times. Despite the disparity in records, given the regional nature of the early rounds and the proximity of the clubs, it means this is the 4^th meeting in the FA Cup and the previous three happened within four seasons between 1960-64. Dartford took the first 5-4, Cray won the second 1-0 and Dartford thumped Cray 5-0 in the most recent.

Hyde .v. Bradford Park Avenue.
1956/57 will long be remembered by those fans of Hyde still alive to tell the tale.  It was a festival of goals. They played 10 FA Cup games that season, both they and the opposition scored in every game, there was at least 5 goals in every game, 71 in total and an average of 7 per tie.  Three of the ten games ended in 4-4 draws, two of those against Stalybridge Celtic alone.

(Kind of) Like Halifax, Bradford Park Avenue are the odd team out in this round, on account of them being a professional league side until 1970 and having finished 9th in the top flight on one occasion.  Consequently, their best-in-article Quarter Final appearances are less surprising than everyone else’s achievements.  However, their greatest Cup successes were when they were in the old Division 2.  In 1919/20 they lost 4-1 to Chelsea in the QF after beating Forest 3-0 and Notts Co 4-3. They beat Everton in 1923/23 and again got to the quarters in 1945/46 but lost 6-0 to Brum after a 2-2 draw at home. They returned to propers in 2003/04 but got humped 5-1 by Bristol City.

Slough Town .v. Hanworth Villa
They’ve fallen on hard times and they’ve been on here a few times this season but, once, Slough Town were a force. They’ve knocked out Wycombe, Walsall and Millwall and taken Cardiff, Orient, Reading and Macclesfield to replays. In contrast Hanworth Villa are in their inaugural FA Cup season and, with patronisation not intended, they’ve already done superbly well to get this far.

Hednesford Town .v. Corby
In the halcyon days of the mid/late 90s, Hednesford were a notorious Cup side, remember their famous, epic 3-2 loss to Middlesbrough in 1996/97?  They got to at least the 1^st round for the next four seasons too.  Corby themselves had a healthy Cup record in the post war years, culminating in a Round 2 replay victory over Luton in 1965/66.  Hednesford won the only FA Cup meeting between the sides, 3-1, in 1995/96.

Solihull Moors .v. Grantham Town
This could be a record at this stage … Grantham’s first ever FA Cup game was against Clapham Rovers in 1877. One hundred and thirty four years ago. We weren’t even alive then. They lost either 1-0 or 2-0 depending on who you believe, Rovers say 2, the Gingerbreads say 1. Who knows?  Since then they’ve accounted for Bradford Park Avenue, when they were good, and they also despatched Stockport and Rochdale between the mid 60s and 70s when they got to the propers 9 times in eleven years.

Billericay Town .v. Leatherhead
Billericay will be one of the more annoyed non league sides in the FA Cup.  They’ve twice got to the propers and twice drawn non league sides. No glory tie for them. They also lost both times. Doh!  Leatherhead are right up there with the giants though. In 1974/75 they got to Round 4 beating Brighton and Colchester before facing Leicester at Filbert Street. The tanners were even 2-0 up at one point but got pegged back to lose 3-2.  They got to the propers 6 times in 7 years after that.

Lowestoft Town .v. Chelmsford
Not really quite a derby but this one’s one of the hottest tickets of the round.  Town got to the propers twice in the 60s losing to Leyton Orient and Watford by just one goal. They managed the same in the 70s against Cambridge and recently aginst Wrexham. Like their Blue Square South foes Dartford, Chelmsford City have been regular toe-treaders in the FA Cup over the years. They  got to Round 4 in 1938/39 beating Darlington and Southampton.

Maldon & Tiptree .v. Hendon
Only recently merged neither Maldon nor Tiptree have done much in the FA Cup as a unit or individually. Hendon on the other hand are from the same semi-pro minefield as Chelmsford and Dartford. The Greens famously held Newcastle to a 1-1 draw at St James in Round 3 in 1973/74 and beat Reading 2 years later and Leyton Orient in 1997/98. Not only that but the club’s now sadly forgotten Claremont Road ground was opened to some fanfare for an FA Cup tie and provided the backdrop for Hendon’s largest attendance, 9000 against Northampton in the FA Cup.

Stourbridge .v. Evesham United
For a team that first entered the FA Cup in 1896 and has entered nearly 70 times, Stourbridge only managed to get past the fourth qualifying round two years ago when they drew near neighbours Walsall. They lost 1-0 but over 2000 people turned up to watch for the first time in over 30 years. It’s a similar story for Evesham, although they hadn’t quite been trying for as long and managed it a year earlier, losing 2-0 to Torquay. The two teams have met before, though, in 1995/96 when Evesham won 3-0 after a replay.

Nantwich Town .v. Kendal Town
Nantwich have only managed this stage before, so could be on the verge of greatness.  Kendal, though, were relative regulars in the first round proper (as Netherfield) between the 40s and 60s and twice got to the second round, including their record attendance versus Grimsby of 5184.  But we’ve included them here for their what-doesn’t-kill-you-makes-you-stronger attitude.  In 1980/81 before the stupid (or kind, as Kendal might be more apt to say) abolition of multiple replays, they managed a whopping 6 replays against Bridlington Trinity in the FA Trophy, which nearly killed them.  The postponed games and rearrangements cost them £1800 and they had to drop down a league the following season. Won’t happen this year though. Phew.

Sutton United .v. Bognor Regis Town
Still the last non league team to dump a top flight side out of the FA Cup.  And they were the current holders to boot. Much has been written about Sutton’s win over Coventry in 1988, my god even we’ve had a bash.  Bognor Regis are not short of giant killing themselves, in their heyday of the mid/late 80s they got to Round 1 five times, beating Swansea and Exeter along the way.

This is by no means an exhaustive list so if your team is in the hat, not on this page but has got some form in the propers, please feel free to add a comment. We could go on, of course, Dover were one of our teams of the season last year and don’t get a mention, but we can sense you nodding off … so [end].

With thanks to the superb Football Club History Database. Someone please keep this going and update, if only we had time …

My prediction of “Dulwich to get to 1st Round proper and facing AFC Wimbledon. Loss.” is still on thanks to a 2-0 win over Eastbourne Town and 4-0 bashing of Horley. But, with an away game at Blue Square Bet South high flyers, Sutton United, on Saturday, this prediction maynot last much longer. We shall see.

Jamie Cutteridge didn’t fare quite so well, his prediction of  ”@therealfacup Ks will get to the first round without winning a game” proved only half right as K’s indeed failed to win a game. Their opponents, Poole, then failed to get disaqualified from the competition on account of not having done anything wrong. One down.

Caroline at the Non League Show – “@therealfacup asking what round your team will finish in this year.. I’m going Chelmsford to second round!” They’ve only just joined in of course and a home tie against fellow Blue Square Bet South side Tonbridge Angels won’t be a given, especially as Chelmsford have steadfastly refused to win a home game this season.  Still not sure whether Caroline meant 2nd Round Proper or 2nd Qualifying Round though?

The second prediction to fall by the way side is from Romford Reject “@therealfacup Romford to reach 1st Round where they narrowly lose to Luton”. *Ahem* Southend Manor 4-2 Romford.  Goodbye.

Martin Jobling‘s prediction is still on ”@therealfacup At least 2 Northern League clubs to knock out Evo-Stik teams. #FACup2011predictions“.  Dunston UTS disposed of Durham City 4-0 in the last round while Whitley Bay narrowly lost to Kendal, 1-0. Spennymoor look to beat Ashton Utd to give Martin his win while Ashington and Bedlington Terriers are still in the tournament to keep the prediction alive.

Secret Dolphin “@therealfacup @nonleagueshow ever the optimist, Poole Town to go one better than last year, 1st Round Proper.”  Well, it’s not over yet …

These are the words on the lips of Brighton, Leyton Orient, Carlisle, Wycombe, Colchester, Aldershot and Swindon fans. Their respective teams are all facing non-league opposition in this weekend’s FA Cup 2^nd Round. The sharp-eyed among you will notice that we don’t include Charlton or Stevenage fans in that list. Well, they may also be facing clubs outside the top 4 divisions but their fans will know exactly who their opponents are (Luton) and might even have played them quite recently (AFC Wimbledon), so the terrace epithet doesn’t really apply.

Bloody Hell! – Droylsden .v. Leyton Orient.

The fabulously monikered Bloods will be inviting The O’s for transfusion at the Butchers Arms on Sunday. The source of Droylsden’s messy nickname is, surprisingly, unknown, despite the seemingly obvious connection with butchery that their ground’s name provides.  The season before last was a most historic one for Blue Square North’s Droylsden.  Against most of the odds they dumped League 2’s Darlington out of the First Round. In Round Two a Sean Newton brace saw them past Chesterfield 2-1 and their reward was a tie against Ipswich Town in the 3^rd Round.

The Bloods rubbed their hands at what would have been a massive payday and then created history of a different type when it was discovered Newton should have been serving a one match suspension in Round Two and they were booted out of the tournament. They were neither the first nor the last to suffer that fate but it was the second time in 3 years that the team Ipswich were supposed to face in the Third Round were kicked out, Bury having suffered the same fate for fielding an ineligible player in 2006.

Seagulls Beware – Brighton & Hove Albion .v. FC United of Manchester.

FCUM may well be the whipping boys remaining but their performance at Rochdale in the last round has to be a front-runner for the rather cheesy ‘Ronnie Radford Award’ the FA have thoughtfully invented for the best Giant Killing display of the tournament. And the Seagulls did only just sneak past Woking in the last round. Lightning doesn’t often strike twice in the FA Cup and the paucity of tickets at the Withdean has restricted the away following, so they won’t quite have the raucous backing they did at Spotland.  Struggling in the Evostick League, FC have lost their last four, with their eyes on this game, and Brighton have stuttered a little but are still looking good.

Super Marine! – Colchester United .v. Swindon Supermarine.

If you fancy going to Colchester you’ll have to brave replacement buses or a circuitous train journey and then a trek out to the A12 to Colchester’s new ground. U’s manager John Ward claims to have a dossier on each Supermarine player which should hold his players in good stead, if they take any notice. That’s one of the things about these occasions, teams can prepare as much as they like but if they go into the game, Arsenal, thinking they only need to turn up, then they often get a surprise. And, being as erratic as Colchester have been in the last month, three wins two defeats, you have to wonder. Add in the fact that Marine haven’t tried their hand at doffing up a league club yet and, well, who knows? 

Grotesque – Crawley Town .v. Swindon Town.

The actual, real, league side from Swindon will be the rare exception in Round Two: they will be the only league side facing a non-league side that most non-league fans will want to see win. Universally unpopular Crawley Town have been accused of grotesquely trying to buy promotion, unsettling rival team’s players and cynically poaching those from a lower league or less loaded club. Whether you agree with this or not, it’s almost impossible to see Crawley as the massive underdogs that two league divisions would seem to suggest.

Currently second in the Conference with a game in hand that, if won, would seem them two points clear, Crawley’s funding is almost certainly on a par with Swindon’s.  Indeed, along with several other League One clubs, Swindon were rumoured to be competing with Crawley to sign players who subsequently chose to head to West Sussex. Having seen AFC Wimbledon clinch the moral high ground earlier in the season, beat Crawley in last year’s FA Cup and seen Swindon give Premier League Fulham a tricky game last season, we’re also rooting for the league side here. Sorry to be predictable, we’re not quite the Crawley haterz like some other pundits but, at the moment at least, we’d rather not see the unseemly cash-throwing approach prevail in non-league football.

Lambs To The Slaughter? – Carlisle United .v. Tamworth.

The Lambs’ League Cup Winning former Leicester playmaker, Stefan Oakes, arguably holds the key to their success at League One’s Carlisle. Part of Martin O’Neill’s 2000 Wembley side, Oakes is the fulcrum of and experienced head on a Tamworth side in a bit of flux outside the FA Cup. Hovering dangerously close to the Blue Square Premier’s relegation zone, caretaker boss, former Forest fullback Des Lyttle, and assistant caretaker boss, former Baggies legend Bob Taylor, are unlikely to get much joy in the North West. Having said that, with the freezing weather closing in it is entirely plausible this game either won’t go ahead or will be played in conditions that might level up the game a little.

Phoenix – Dover Athletic .v. Aldershot Town.

Do we really need to tell you about Dover?  You know, the ones that three weeks ago emphasised the word Schadenfreude for Gillingham fans? What about Aldershot?  Didn’t they go bust? Yes. One of the modern era’s original phoenix clubs, Aldershot were re-born in 1992 into the third tier of the Isthmian League. It took them just ten years to get to the Conference and, after another six years, they returned to the league in 2008. Having spent the last 18 years being the young Turks, Aldershot now, for the first real time since regaining their league place, are the clear favourite in an FA Cup tie. Can they handle it? We think possibly not…

Boring Boring Wycombe – Wycombe Wanderers .v. Chelmsford City.

Having despatched Hayes & Yeading with pragmatic, unambitious relative comfort, Wycombe Wanderers probably won’t be quite as cautious against the underdog as other sides facing such a tie for the first time. But they should. Having watched them pick off AFC Wimbledon two seasons ago with similar pragmatic aplomb, they then went to Eastwood Town and lost.  Hoho.  Chelmsford have had the relative good fortune of being drawn against sides at the same or slightly lower level than them. Their biggest test so far was way back in October against the team that now head their league, Bromley, but since then it’s been a festival of victories against Ryman League sides.

If you’ll be Tweeting from the game just let us know who you are and we’ll add you to the list. And you might be surprisd to hear we are off to none of these games for a change. So, if you’re a witty, erudite writer with some time and inclination, we’d be happy to host any FA Cup match reports you might want to throw our way! Make sure you get a quirky photo though!

All fixtures can be found here at the FA and check out the FA Cup main page, ITV website and ESPN listings for what games you can catch on the telly.

Cheres, Damon & Simon.

The Robins will forever wonder what might have been after their late, late goal on Saturday was wiped out by a late, late, late equaliser by Rob Edmans, forcing them to travel to Essex for a replay when they really should have been sat at home in the warm, awaiting the names of their opponents in the propers.

After a sharp reminder of why I choose to cycle to work, rather than suffer the inhumane torment of London’s public transport system I arrived at Chelmsford, belly full of greasy, local fare which could have been purchased on the way to any football ground in England – why is that no town seems able of providing something even slightly better than kebab shops dressed up as fish and chip shops? A mercifully short bus ride, during which I had to listen to the intricate details of a weekend of table tennis lessons culminated in the discovery that Melbourne Park is, in fact, an athletics stadium with a football pitch in the centre. In order to prevent unruly football supporters from damaging the very new-looking running track (one suspects), the fans are kept as far away from the pitch as possible which is always disappointing in the lower leagues, as getting close to the action is one of the joys of watching football in my opinion.

Carshalton struggled in the early stages, their hosts clearly wanted to make their mark on the game early on and made all the running. The final ball, which was so sorely missing from Saturday’s performance was much more accurate. Sami El-Abd’s header after 4 minutes required a save from Lock’s free kick after 4 minutes and it looked very much as if Carshalton were going to struggle against their loftier opposition.

The best chance of the opening period, however, fell to Carshalton – Chris Henry’s shot failing to hit the target after he found himself one on one with Clarets’ keeper Pullen on 11 minutes.

Chelmsford continued to press and their efforts were rewarded on 15 minutes when a quick adjustment of his very distant feet by Edmans allowed him to square the ball to Cook, whose shot found the net to put the Clarets ahead.

The swift counter attacks that caused Chelmsford so many problems at the weekend seemed to have been replaced by speculative long balls over the top for Harrison to chase and the home defence, having suffered an afternoon defending against the Robins’ front man, were coping easily. Carshalton were defending as if their lives depended on it and some strong tackles had been flying in, causing one home fan to advise the referee to keep his eye on the number 6, adding “watch our number 8 as well” in a rather frank admission of John Martin’s ability to get stuck in.

Chelmsford looked much the better side and, midway through the first half, Higgins’ firmly struck shot from distance was spilled by Ross and a rash challenge by the recovering keeper brought a penalty, calls for a red card from the baying home crowd and a mini free-for-all in the Carshalton penalty area. The keeper was allowed to remain on the pitch but had no chance with Higgins’ spot kick which was duly dispatched to give the home side’s dominance the reward it deserved. 2-0 and, whilst the home fans began to celebrate what was clearly going to be an easy win, I was starting to wonder whether my two hours journey from hell had really been worth it. Carshalton had not really been in the game and it was getting cold. Why had I bothered?

However, with less than five minutes to go until half time, Justyn Roberts reminded me that the game was nowhere near over when he thumped a shot into the back of the Clarets net, seemingly through the hands of Pullen who probably did well to make any contact at all with the well struck shot from outside the area. It had the air of a consolation goal as they had had so little of the play but, with the crowd wondering how long the interminable first half would continue for, the Robins thrust themselves right back into the game with a superb strike by Joel Ledgister. A long ball forward had seen Carshalton’s Harrison injure himself in a 50-50 ball with keeper Pullen but Chelmsford’s defence never seemed to recover, and the period of play was finished with aplomb when Ledgister side-stepped two defenders 25 yards out and smashed a shot into the top right hand corner to level the score at 2-2 at half time. It was much, much more than Carshalton had deserved but the two goals were both of the highest quality and at least we now had a game on our hands.

Carshalton took heart from their stunning comeback and looked a much more capable side in the early stages of the second period but Chelmsford continued to create chances; El-Abd had a header cleared off the line from a corner and Ross had to save another long distance shot from Higgins. The Robins came back into it though – Byron Harrison scuffed his shot after it was presented to him by a poor kick by Pullen and a free kick whistled across the Claret’s goal without receiving a touch from anyone.

The home crowd were, by now, becoming agitated by the away side’s tough tackling – Justyn Roberts earned himself a yellow card, leading to an extended period of handbags on the halfway line and worse was to follow when Robins’ captain David Ray appeared to go in very hard in the midfield, winning the ball but producing a very ugly tackle in the process. It could well have seen the first appearance of the referee’s red card but it didn’t take long before the back pocket was required, Mbive Lokando receiving his marching orders for what appeared to be a more innocuous challenge.

It signalled the end of Carshalton’s resistance and, to prove it, Chelmsford took the lead almost immediately when Higgins headed into the net after a goalmouth scramble. The flood gates opened at almost exactly the same moment as my hands became so cold that I could barely hold my pen and chances for the home side to finish the contest came at regular intervals of around 30 seconds for a few minutes – the closest of them falling to Cook who hit the post from a tight angle. The other chances will not be described here as that is the only note I have written which is even vaguely decipherable.

To their credit, Carshalton never gave up, despite their lack of numbers and in truth, if it was anyone other than defender Michael Boatang that had found himself with a chance to take the game to extra time, I may have been cryogenically frozen in Essex as he really should have scored when Oliver Rowe missed his kick from a long ball. But he thrashed the ball wide and the chance was gone.

David Obaze was sent off late on to leave the Robins 2 players short and Chelmsford’s players and supporters will be very relieved to qualify for a 1st Round tie against either Hendon or the Metropolitan Police in a fortnight. Carshalton may well have been over-physical at times in the replay but their commitment and ability on the break was outstanding and they can count themselves very unfortunate to be knocked out.

I’m sure Rob Edmans has grown about a foot since I saw him last, a year ago! I remember him playing well, remember him missing a sitter and setting up a goal but at no point during that game did I think, ‘he’s a big lad!’ But he is, about seventeen metres worth.

1,024 people popped down to Colston Avenue to witness a vibrant game, a good atmosphere but a good deal of frustration for both sides and the neutral. The source of frustration for everyone was the final ball. The main culprits in an otherwise competent and relatively purist display by both sides were the pair of number tens but, in particular, Chelmsford’s Anthony Cook. Ahhhrggghhh!!!

THE PUB

But first, and indeed last, there was the small matter of Bar Billiards, a fine pub, friendly locals and a mini beer festival. Having never been to Carshalton for either football or cultural delights, we didn’t really know what to expect. BeerInTheEvening for once came good, although the 7/10 their reviewers afforded The Hope must have meant there was a load of soulless Chelsea fans in recently expecting Stella, a fight and chicken in a basket.

In a week where modern football’$ headline$ have been dominated by court ca$e$, underhand contract negotiation$, cheating and, quelle $urpri$e, money, we’d found a pub with a bit of soul and olde worlde warmth and charm. We’d found Hope, The Hope, we hoped we’d find more at 3pm.

Having spotted a chalk sign outside that said they were currently serving Dark Star’s 5.2% Oktoberfest beer. Get in. “Two pints of Oktoberfest please”. “Pardon? We don’t have that on” said the barmaid. “Oh, it’s just, it says you do outside.” “Hahahaha, you don’t want to believe what you read out there” she said with a dismissive cheeriness that indicated we should have known better. We didn’t, we’d never been there before. But we do now. Humbled and slightly disappointed for about 2 seconds, we were cheered when a list of about 20 ales was thrust excitedly into our grubby, pasty-soiled hands.

A few minutes later we’d had our first sip of mini beer festival ale and were helping the barmaid remove the ‘florins’ from the antique bar billiards table so we could figure out how to play it. Wrongly, as it turned out, we noted, when briefly watching a spectacularly bearded local chap and fellow footy bloggers including Terry, Gary and Jamie post-match, before we had to hot-foot it back in to London.

The cosy pub front looked like someone’s lounge, the U shape round the bar busy but not packed, and when the downpour and grey squall hit, while we were drinking Red Squall, at about 2pm we were not in the slightest bit concerned. We’d happily have stayed there rather than brave the rain – fairweather FA Cup bloggers, aren’t we?

THE GAME

We parked ourselves behind the dugouts in the elevated side stand, as is our wont these days, and, seemingly, 60% of the crowd had done the same. Until the toss, that is, when ends were chosen and the usual but still amusing evacuation by fans to go to the end towards which their team were attacking. All of a sudden it was much quieter.

“Whats it like to see a crowd” was the opening gambit of the Clarets fans in the newly created away end. Carshalton started well and had 20 minutes or so where they committed players forward in numbers when on the attack. The game was quite even, there was tidy play but neither side could really produce that bit of quality in the final third.

The first time anyone did, Harrison was played in through the middle and skimmed the crossbar as the linesman’s flag went up for offside. He also hit the post moments after former Ipswich and AFC Wimbledon keeper James Pullen had been booked for a hilariously incompetent attempt at heading the ball away from just outside the right hand edge of his area led to him bundling over the winger.

CONTAIN

Unable to find a way through Carshalton started to sit back, contain and play on the break. Chelmsford didn’t look particularly comfortable being encouraged to play this role. They had lots of possession that Anthony Cook often wasted when playing the final ball and the Clarets defence looked creaky when Harrison was running at them.

Chelmsford manager Glenn Pennyfather was far from being chirpy, he often appeared from inside the concrete dugouts to mutter expletives into the advertising hoardings. There were also some odd comments coming from the crowd around us. “Hello sailor!” ??? “He’s not a ladder” more obvious after someone was climbing all over someone else. Wags.

Just before half time I went on an expedition for toilet. We’d already noted the toilet signs pointing towards sealed corrugated fencing behind the ‘away’ end so had to try the door below the massive TOILET sign. Locked! Surely there isn’t just one toilet and someone is in it?  Eventually in the bar there it was.

The second half continued in a similar vein and the pleasure derived from watching two teams largely keeping the ball on the floor, not one lost ball in the first hour, was beginning to wither into frustration at the decent build up petering out with final ball wastefulness. Harrison, finding it increasingly obvious his marker couldn’t cope with him, was setting off in pursuit of throughballs increasingly early and was flagged off side time and again. “The offside intelligence of Sylvain Wiltord”, noted Simon.

Harrison was then booked for a dive that seemed less simulation and more desperate attempt to keep the ball in play. Pullen looked to have caught him but the ball was already heading out of play. Definitely no penalty but the booking looked harsh. The ref, though, injury time apart, had a pretty decent game where he wasn’t noticed.

MISTAKE

But then a slip from the left back (I think) in the 89th minute let in Joseph who rather expertly chipped Pullen and sent Carshalton into the first round proper. At least that’s what we all thought because Chelmsford hadn’t really looked like finishing anything all afternoon, indeed both teams shooting had been woeful. Last year’s unfortunate anti-hero of Dartford v Chelmsford, Rob Edmans, had been brought on and had caused a few problems with the prodigious height we hadn’t noticed last season.

Like the first half, a baffling amount of injury time had been added on and rising like the proverbial salmon Edmans nodded a cross back across the face of goal and into the net. Cue wild scenes behind the goal and some unseemly ones in front of the main stand, where some things were thrown and some minor scuffles broke out. An old man stood by, ready, walking stick raised in case any young hoodlum dared come near him.

Carshalton 1 Chelmsford 1 (Replay Monday 25th October)

With a home draw for the winners against either Hendon or Met Police, the winner will fancy their chances of progressing into round two and a dream tie. We left swiftly and headed for a quick pint before the enforced trip back in to London. The Hope really is a great pub and the atmosphere was even better when we returned. After a quick hello and goodbye to the aforementioned bloggers we left happy that after a week of football dirge we’d had a good day and lived the anti-modern football dream. The Hope is still there for both teams, shame there can’t be a second replay …

The Real FA Cup Awards 2010.

The Nominations Are: Click Link For All Polls

Best Player:
Sanchez Ming – Dulwich Hamlet
Marcel Jones – Enfield 1893
Ryan Ashe – Wealdstone
Jack King – Farnborough
Danny Forrest – Crawley
Danny Kedwell – AFC Wimbledon
Sam Duncum – Ilkeston

Best Game:
Broxbourne Borough V&E 1 Enfield 1893 4
Ashford Town (Mx) 2 Hendon 2 (9-8 on pens)
Farnborough 2 Hastings 1
Dartford 1 Chelmsford City 4
AFC Wimbledon 2 Crawley Town 1
Wealdstone 2 Rotherham 3

Best Ground: This one is not easy either.
Champion Hill – Dulwich Hamlet
Princes Park – Dartford
Beveree Stadium – Hampton & Richmond Borough

Most Helpful Club:
Wembley
Basildon United
Wealdstone
AFC Wimbledon
Sevenoaks

Team Of The Tournament:
Lowestoft Town
AFC Wimbledon
Tooting & Mitcham United
Aylesbury
Wealdstone
Enfield 1893
Forest Green

We’ve got our own ideas who should win but we want your suggestions too, we’ve been to lots of games but they are only a tiny fraction of games played.  So, leave comments here, email us at the address on the home page or Tweet us your opinion, we’ve already had a couple of suggestions …

Everton: Tweeter grandoldteam argued that the Toffees should win it “Because of our run last season (Liverpool, Villa, Man Utd en route…) only to fall at the last hurdle.” While we all would have fancied that being the actual result, it is still last season. Sorry, no.

Stoke City: Ilkeston Town fan @ilson_fan reasoned that the winners should be “Stoke. They beat York who beat Cambridge who beat the mighty Ilkeston so they must be REALLY good!”  That is compelling but we can’t have a Premier Lge team winning The Real FA Cup.

So what do we want you to bear in mind, who has been the nicest, most helpful club, who’s had the best team, scored the best goals, embodied the FA Cup spirit, had the best sense of humour, perhaps it was where you simply had the best day out, maybe it’s the team who has played the most games or got the furthest from where they started, or perhaps you think your local team should win?  Whichever of these is your reason, let us know and we’ll consider it.

Yes, we know that Forest Green are still in the Cup, we know there are some League 1 sides still in but they are going to have to go some to have the impact that some already have and, frankly, the mainstream coverage of the tournament is getting quite depressing. The Real has gone, hyperreal has arrived.  Obviously, we’re looking to our non-league followers to step up to the plate here but our short list is:

AFC Wimbledon | Aylesbury | Basildon Utd |Chelmsford City | Dartford | Lowestoft Town | Sutton Utd | Tooting & Mitcham | Wealdstone |

Who else should be on it – and why?

Last weekend we saw Chelmsford City beat Dartford in the FA Cup. They scored four but it should have, undoubtedly, been five. The one that got away was caught in all it’s glory by Simon and Matt so let’s have a look at it a bit closer. Above left we see the milliseconds after Edmans had rounded the keeper, found the goal gaping and side footed it … errr … goalwards. You can see the joy and elation etched on the faces of those directly behind the goal who think it’s going in. Even some to the left are lost in the moment of glory, however, you can see some fans further back and in line with the direction of the ball whose hands are not high and stretched wide, they are moving down to the top of their heads.

We’re not necessarily here to rip it out of Rob Edmans though, just seconds later he set up Chelmsford’s last goal with a beautiful cross, but these photos seem to capture more than the miss. These photos capture the moments immediately before and after the miss and they display the plethora of emotions through which players and fans alike go during each and every match. These photos, as much as any do, show exactly what football means to people and the range of emotions also belies the theory that football supporters are a homogenous, stereotypical mass.

In the next photo (above right) you can see Edmans has sunk to his knees as it dawns that the ball might not nestle in the onion sack. The inverse Mexican wave on the terrace has now spread from left all the way across, as hands come down to heads from above. Some of the fans are starting to express anger, some despair, some disbelief and some, perhaps the sharper or less passionate fans, are already wetting themselves with laughter, safe in the knowledge they are 3-1 up with 2 minutes left. This gamut of emotions is what makes football great, so wide in just one tiny fraction of a football match.

In the next photo (left) the majority of the fans have seen the funny side, they have realised they’ve just seen a bad miss but know it shouldn’t cost them. Still though, some are furious. The keeper is glancing to the bench with a hint of mirth and a smidge of relief but Edmans is still stuck in time, internally replaying the shot over and over and, almost certainly, wondering how he missed.

And now (right) it’s all sinking in for the rest in the scene, Edmans is still on his knees, still lost in a long moment of contemplation. Behind him, the keeper is perhaps now baffled, a gallic shrug belying his emotions but is the gesture expressing disbelief that Edmans missed or is it enquiring what his defence were doing to let him through in the first place. The player in the foreground, no17 Matt Lock, covers his mouth as if to force himself not to shout disbelief at his team mate. Similarly, Antonio Murray, no9, has turned away as if to pretend it never happened and even the Dartford outfield player has adopted the ‘speak no evil’ pose of a man not wishing to intrude on private grief.

And for last we save perhaps the best. Edmans has now given up his inner fight and is prostrate on the floor, accepting that he has in fact somehow missed that. The four fans pictured show the range of emotions, from disgust on the left to a wry smirk to hilarity to disbelief on the right.

So, a big sorry to Rob Edmans for featuring his miss, we hope he forgives us. Our interest was less in his misfortune and more to do with the various captured ways he and his fellow professionals affect us fans. This is a stark example but these emotions run through us every minute of every game to greater or lesser degrees. Even neutrals.

We’re no psychologists and we know photos like this appear quite regularly but we thought they photos said something, even if we aren’t entirely sure what that is, and wanted to share them with you. And we’ll leave you with this final photo, feel the joy. A big thanks to the players and fans of both Dartford and Chelmsford City for making our day, it perhaps wasn’t the best game we’ll see but it was one of the best days out we’ve had.

Damon

We had been led to believe, by people who should know better, that Dartford was a chav hell hole. Rubbish. A chav hell hole does not deliver three quality boozers, a cafe with a young ‘host’ more at home in Madame Jo Jo’,s or Brechtian discussions with the local youths?! This is a town with apparent diversity in its sense of self and a slightly tenacious attitude to make things better.

It fits, therefore, that the local council have essentially given the football team superb eco-ground (left) that is Princes Park. A wooden man (below right) holds aloft the roof of not only the north facing stand but, as it is a continuous oval wooden lid, effectively the whole ground.

Given the size of the ground (allegedly 4,000 capacity) the bar is dwarfed by Dulwich Hamlet’s behemoth of alcohol but it’s nice enough, if a little soulless.

As we suggested in our preview, this match was eagerly anticipated and would be very close. Correct on both counts, except the scoreline probably flattered Chelmsford a little.

This game mirrored, almost exactly, the game we saw at the 4th Qualifying Round stage last season, AFC Wimbledon 1 Wycombe W 4. A very similar pattern of play, not much happened during the even start, the higher team the more clinical with the few chances they had, the home side coming into it in the second half but getting suckered on the break at inopportune moments.

The main difference between these teams was that Chelmsford had a very solid defence that gave little away and they had goal poachers in abundance, with one glaring exception.

Before we ventured forth we sought fortification first from Shepherd Neame and then from the correctly titled ‘All Day Cafe’. The cafe was rammed to the gills and bubbling with atmosphere. It was either going ot be cheap, good or cheap and good.

There was a hubbub in the middle of the cafe, the waiter was rooting around in some woman’s bag. He found a white polka dot bikini and asked the diners if he should try it on. “YES” was the response, so he did, and catwalked up and down the caff from door to kitchen. It has to be said, this was not what we were expecting from Dartford.

The Dartford fans were equally as loud, although not as camp, often enquiring if they could knock out a tune for their opposite numbers. The Dartford fans must have been hard of hearing because the Clarets fans were making noise too. The Darts fans reminded their opponents that they were top of the league but this game was a wake up call.

In the first half, there were four shots of note and one header. The opening goal came from a corner, Murray (celebrating, left) taking two shots to score after the ball fell to him in the 6 yard box. The third shot resulted in the Dartford keeper tipping over a free kick and the fourth saw the Clarets go in at the break 2 nil up, Ricky Holmes shooting neatly in to the corner from the edge of the box.

The first half of the second half was almost entirely Dartford but they had very few sightings of goal. Chelmsford got a free kick about 25 yards out and Dave Rainford swept it over the wall and in to the corner. 3-0. Clinical. “3 nil and you still won’t sing”, sing the Darts fans. “Top of the league, you’re having a laugh” retort the Claret faithful. It was fair comment, bar one draw, Dartford have won all of their league games this season but, on this evidence, they are going to have to up their game somewhat if they are to compete in the league above.

The ref was very indecisive, there were 3 or 4 drop balls in this game for no apparent reason. You very rarely even see one and the crowd amusingly started shouting for them at every stoppage.

With around 15 left Dartford did finally get a great chance to get back in the game but Tait blasted over from 4 yards. Five minutes later another went begging when May headed wide when well placed.  They also smacked the woodwork. We thought that was probably it but then Dartford got a freekick and captain Flanagan sneaked in to plant one firmly past the keeper.

Game on? The Darts fans thought so, “Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy” they went. Chelmsford threatened to pop the optimism when the Dartford keeper made a hash of edge-of-the-box control and Chelmsford’s own ‘Crouchy’ found himself on the penalty spot with the keeper on the floor behind him and no defenders within 20 yards. He sidefooted the ball a foot past the post. The crowd were incredulous, that was probably the worst miss any of us has ever seen.

Seconds later ‘Crouchy’ does some twinkle toes down the left and crossed perfectly for Murray to touch home. ‘Crouchy’s’ miss was somewhat special, so much so that we’re going to devote a whole story to him. And apologies, ‘Crouchy’ is in real life Robert Edmans and he had a tidy game otherwise.

Dartford 1 Chelmsford City 4

Overall not the greatest game of FA Cup football but a fair bit of interest, incident and 5 goals so what more could you ask for? We retired to the Stage Door foor a few and were accosted by a hooded youth in the beer garden. Was the Dartford experience about to take the type of turn we were led to expect? The youth enquired if we were involved with the next door theatre and informed us of his involvement in a production of ‘The Resistable Rise of Arturo Ui’. Nope, we weren’t expecting that either.

We gave you the chance to send us further afield and you adventurous folk well and truly took it, huh! Literally to the edge of London we must venture, towards a massive great bridge! Or tunnel, depending which way you’re travelling.

The visitors, Chelmsford, are a league, if not currently a class, above. Minor interest point sees former Ipswich and Hibs player Antonio Murray lining up for the Blue Square South side after failing to get (or perhaps turning down) a new contract with top flight new boys Histon.

Chelmsford’s emphatic result in the previous round was sandwiched between two league defeats that have cost the ambitious clarets quite dearly and they now find themselves languishing in mid table, well off the pace they kept up for so long last season.

The home team on the other hand can do no wrong. The last time Dartford failed to win a league game it was still August. They’ve won their last five and have 28 points out of a possible 30 overall, which means they top the league by some distance. In the close season, Dartford signed a a player we saw several times at Dulwich last year, Jamie Coyle, and former Gooner, Jamie Day, who left Highbury to join Bournemeouth and now finds himself sliding down the leagues.

This may not be quite the biggest name clash in this round of the FA Cup but it’s one of the most eagerly anticipated and it’ going to be one where a bit of an upset is possible. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if the bookies have this one quite evenly poised.

35/40mins from London Bridge and the below link looks handily placed between station and ground …

http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/67/6757/Malt_Shovel/Dartford