Musical Notes This Is A Football Song

I hate songs about football,
And those little smelly kits for cars,
Owning all three replica away strips,
When you’ve never even owned a scarf.

I hate sponsored stadiums,
And being forced to sit,
Over-paid players who are lazy,
And ageing foreigners who are plain shit.

So sing along,
This is a football song,
So sing along,
This is a football,
So sing along!

I hate four games on a Sunday,
Pay-per-view, not paid to think,
I hate formulaic sports bars,
And the official world cup beer to drink.

I hate the hike in season ticket prices,
And club owners lack of loyalty and passion,
Using the game to sell cars and cola,
Abusing the game as a fashion.

So sing along,
This is a football song,
So sing along,
This is a football song,
So sing along!

I hate all the new rules,
The beauty was always partly brutal,
I hate all of the officials,
And I think the feeling’s mutual.

I hate Match of the Day logo,
And the coverage on ITV,
Commemorative coins and baseball caps,
And the ‘sack-the-manager’ mentality.

So sing along,
This is a football song,
So sing along,
This is a football song,
So sing along!

I hate finding mini England stars in my cornflakes,
Footballers should be ugly with bad hair,
I hate the frailty of the lower divisions,
And the fact that the FA don’t care.

I hate the word ‘soccer’,
And the casual arrogance of the press,
And when it comes to Penalty Shoot Outs,
Well, there’s nothing I like less.

So sing along,
This is a football,
So sing along,
This is a football song,
So sing along, sing along sing along!

How many times have you heard a song which has been written for some football match or tournament and thought “I could do better than that” ?

Every time England qualify for the World Cup Finals, it’s a scramble to see who can release the most popular and banal ditty – usually penned, warbled or starring some lowly celebrity that is down on their luck and fancies a few quid from record sales. They’re always disappointing and one feels that they are just being used to cash in on other people’s success.

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Of course, in The Good Old Days TM of the FA Cup (when every club in the land wanted to win the jug, or at least wanted to take part in it!), the teams that reached the final were duty bound to produce a wailed dirge for the general amusement of the public, some of which are still remembered and sung on the terraces to this day.

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It has to be said, it’s not often you come across a football-related website with its own official song but we like to think of ourselves as different from all those other sites so, in the true tradition of the FA Cup of old we have procured (with his full consent) the lyrics of a song written for us by a friend of the website, Mr. Dylan Ross. He has also kindly allowed us to publish his own interpretation of the song for all to enjoy (ED – And NOW he’s only gone and recorded it. So here it is in all it’s glory TUNE!!!).

Formerly of the band threefortenpound, Dylan began writing and performing music many years ago. Feeling disillusioned by both the quality of England World Cup records and the lack of romance in modern football, Dylan scribbled these lyrics on the back of a fag packet (or similar) and performed his a capella version of the song in front of amazed friends and onlookers outside a pub in High Wycombe. The lyrics, as I’m sure you will agree, are still as relevant to today’s game as they were back then.

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Despite the fact that Dylan’s version of the song is exceptional, both Dylan and we at the therealfacup would like to hear from any other budding musicians out there who would like to rework the song. So if you feel like showing off your talents, please send us your mp3 to admin@therealfacup.co.uk and we will gladly post it here for the world to listen to.

Maybe we can change the world with music? Maybe not.

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