Wealdstone take a 17 match unbeaten run into their biggest game of the season so far. I can hear Ryan fill with pride when he mentions this and the fact that it’s the biggest FA Cup game he’s ever played in. As with our previous interviewees, Ryan puts his professional peers to shame with his accessibility, honesty and easy going attitude. It’s not hard to be entirely taken in when someone you’ve never spoken to before is so chatty and within minutes seems like one of your mates.

Height: 5’6”
Weight: 11 ½ st
Previous Clubs: Chertsey Town, Northwood, Maidenhead, Hampton & Richmond Borough, Leyton and Hayes.
Job: Foreign & Commonwealth Office

I don’t know whether he is usually this positive but the high of a long unbeaten run, the FA Cup 1st Round, being current top scorer and playing under a long-serving manager who he clearly respects is certainly helping. Bearing in mind the current tendency to sack a manager if you lose a few games, I asked Ryan if the longevity of the manager was an important factor in Wealdstone’s early season success. He agreed and also pointed out that the same 11 that finished last season started the first game of this season. The only additions to the squad were youth team players stepping up. Given the propensity of non-league footballers to move around (Dulwich Hamlet’s 2009/10 squad features NO players from last season) we found this astonishing.

I asked Ryan if his biography on the club website accurately portrayed his attributes of twinkling toes and vision. He chuckled with amusement and said “spot on” before then more seriously noting that he “used to be more box-to-box but Chris O’Leary mops everything up now”. His acknowledgement of his team mate was adding to a picture of Ryan that was quite endearing, even more so when he added that Chris was good because he himself couldn’t do box-to-box so often now he was getting on a bit. 29? Are you sure, Ryan? Peak! Surely?

Car: Honda Civic Type R
Nickname: Ashy
Favourite Player: Paul Gascoigne
Most Difficult Opponent: Jeff Minton

With a certain clarity Ryan admitted his answers “might be different if we were struggling at the bottom of the league” but, regardless of that, was a big fan of the FA Cup. That said, like a child presented with access to a chocolate factory, he did ponder the question “FA Trophy Final or FA Cup 3rd Round?” long and hard before giving the rather ambiguous answer of “The FA Cup, although maybe the Trophy if it’s the final, unless I can pick which side in the 3rd round, can I have a big club?”.

Wealdstone aren’t actually struggling in either the league or the cups this season but one of Ryan’s three biggest regrets is “never getting this far in the FA Cup in 13 years of playing football”. His second regret is getting knocked out of the FA Trophy by former club Hampton & Richmond Borough, which he found “really tough when they scored an 85th minute winner”. His final regret is interesting. Having spent a couple of seasons watching lower league teams now, therealfacup have come to the conclusion that there can be as much quality at this level as there is much higher up. The difference is that higher up the players have an ability to replicate that quality with consistency. I put it to Ryan that a visionary midfielder at Premiership level sees the Hollywood pass and can deliver it 8/10, a Championship footballer maybe 6/10 … a lower league player maybe 3/10. He agreed and acknowledged a large part of that was repetition, the simple fact that “pro footballers get to practice every day”. “I would like to have seen how good I could have been if I’d trained every day” he said ruefully but without too big a hint of regret.

Favourite Team: None
Dressing Room Joker: Lee Chappell
Pre-Match Meal: Pasta
Favourite TV Show: Lost

I asked Ryan what pro club that might have been, who did he support? “If I had to answer I would probably have to say QPR or Chelsea”. Prior to that slightly wishy-washy answer he had protested that “If you support a team you get pigeon-holed as a supporter of that team”. He said he was primarily just a football fan, “I don’t tie myself to a team, I like to watch good football … I like watching Arsenal”, which made three London clubs he’d mentioned. No ‘pigeon-holed’ fan would like three separate London rivals so you have to take him at his admirable word. He is in effect a man after our own heart, after all therealfacup is rather fickle when it comes to its impartiality. Having broadly supported Crawley in the first game of the last round thanks to Danny Forrest and Thomas Pinault’s quality, we then found ourselves switching to AFC Wimbledon in the replay when Kedwell and Wellard looked the best footballers.

Our favourite players discussed, Ashy tells us that the player he’s most admired during his career, aside from Gazza, was former Brighton midfielder Jeff Minton. “The best touch I’ve ever seen, takes corners from both sides with different feet, set pieces, he could do everything”. Ryan said he came up against him about four years ago and was very impressed. I’ve definitely seen Jeff Minton play and I don’t remember this quality but we’ll take Ryan’s word for it.

Favourite Pop Star: The Saturdays
Favourite Food: Seafood
Best Place Visited: Bahamas on Honeymoon
Miscellaneous Likes: Nights out with the footy boys
Miscellaneous Dislikes: Jack Daniels

With the majority of pro footballers, praising their manager would, perhaps wrongly, be viewed with a suspicion about agendas, motives and, frankly, arse licking. One might say the same about interviewers and their interviewees I suppose, heh … However, Ryan’s pride in the fact the same 11 progressed from last season to this, his acknowledgement that the youngsters have been well integrated into the team, his assertion that “everyone plays for the manager” and that “he knows how to deal with players” has no trace of hollow self interest. He appears a genuine fan of his boss and appreciates what he’s done for Wealdstone. While Ryan may be one of the more influential and wiser old heads on the pitch, it’s clear who that person is off it. Gordon Bartlett’s been there about 15 years so he must be doing something right. But Ryan did also spare some praise for coaches Leo and Mark, the latter being guilty of repeating Ashy’s favourite football cliche of “a game of two halves” a bit too often.

So, what about outside football? Ryan told us his son was going to be mascot on Sunday, we would say hello but I forgot to note down his son’s name!! Doh! If you read this, Ryan, just let me know and I’ll stick it in. Anyway. The Saturdays, eh? Big fan of the Saturdays? I asked Ryan whether this was physically or for vocal talent. “Vocal talent”. Hmmm … the uncertainty in my voice seemed to trigger doubt in Ryan’s mind. I wondered if he could sense the level of pisstaking his team mates might get out of him liking the Saturdays? He changed his mind to several other acts but I conveniently forgot to note them down. We had a bit of chat about his Honda Type R “’09 plate” as I’d recently seen an old Top Gear episode comparing the old R with the new one. He preferred the old one, like everyone else seems to, but that the new one had a louder noise.

Well, I hopefully managed to keep that write up below the sycophancy radar but, in reality, Ryan seemed to embody why therealfacup exists so I may have failed. He likes football in general, enjoys playing it and, regardless of all that, was extraordinarily easy to talk to and also a good bloke. So, thanks to him for talking to us and to his Chairman Howard for sorting it out. Good luck to Wealdstone on Sunday and, if they win, please keep your eyes shut, Ashy has vowed to emulate Lee Chappell’s Superman Strip somewhere, some time, soon.

ps: Sorry Rotherham, therealfacup has nothing against you but cup upsets are always what people look out for.

Crocodile Shoes

As the football season prepares to, once again, launch itself headlong into the nation’s consciousness, Andy Walker of Wembley FC launches himself headlong into the eyes of the therealfacup.

Any parallels between our first two interview victims are tenuous and very much not football related. They’re both very busy people, both centre backs, both appear to like visiting the non United bits of America and both will be playing in the FA Cup. The main difference, though, is at every home game Andy can gaze wistfully at Wembley’s big arch during the moments when the ball is at the other end of the Vale Farm pitch.

Currently in the Combined Counties Premier Division, Andy’s an old hand at the FA Cup but the last two campaigns could be said to be mixed. The 3-0 beating Wembley gave Haringey Borough two seasons ago after a replay is, undoubtedly, a high point, particularly as he ruefully admits it’s “the only time I’ve ever ended up on the winning side.” Incidentally, that game is one of many documented by author John Stoneman who went on his own journey through FA Cup.

Andrew Walker - Wembley FC

Job: Market Research
Car: N/A
Nickname: None given
Favourite Player: Peter Beardsley

I’ve no idea how few players we’ll come across this year that appear in a book about the FA Cup (very few) but Andy won’t be the only one to have been sent off in it. He won’t thank me much for dredging up the second yellow against Royston last season that signalled the end of his game and, judging by reports, the end of Wembley’s participation in the FA Cup that season. We weren’t there but the Wembley website hints Andy was, at the time, holding the defence together, while other reports suggest he was a little unfortunate with at least one of the cards.

We won’t dwell on that but we will dawdle a while on Andy’s favourite team. therealfacup won’t divert too frequently into the upper echelons of the game but, sadly, Andy’s team is no longer there and they do crop up regularly in the interview. From his favourite player to football’s Gaffer of Gaffers via the possibly thorny topic of football finance we wind. There’s little magic here.

Most Difficult Opponent: Anyone with pace
Favourite Other Team: Newcastle United
Pre-Match Meal: Cereal
Favourite TV Show: The Apprentice

The word ‘great’ is attributed to many but deserved by few. As I’m sure we’re all now aware, former Newcastle and Ipswich manager , Sir Bobby Robson, finally succumbed to the cancer he has already fought off four times. All Newcastle, Ipswich, Fulham and maybe even West Brom fans will definitely have taken a moment last weekend but, the thing is, they wouldn’t have been alone. “Very few managers achieve success while still being admired by opponents” said Andy, catching precisely the mood of the footballing nation and even those outside.

The word ‘great’ is not, however, one that sits comfortably with Newcastle at the moment, certainly not when it comes to finance and the perhaps unfounded rumours of administration. Andy believes the amount of money in the game is “fine, as long as clubs are generating as much as they are spending. Problems only arise when clubs try to live beyond their means”. I’d be misquoting Andy if I implied he made that comment in relation to Newcastle, which he didn’t, but, obviously, they are one of many top flight teams who have spent beyond their means and the relevance looms large at St James’ now they’ve dropped a division.

Celery

Another manager who made it into this interview is, even less surprisingly than Sir Bob, Andy’s current manager at Wembley. Perhaps more surprising is the context in which he cropped up. “Last season one of our players left their boots in the changing room after training. By the Saturday they had been concreted into a bucket” said Andy. The culprit? Ian Bates, Wembley manager and, apparently, dressing room joker.

With this anecdote seemingly rather at odds with the common perception of a manager, I asked Andy about the veracity of his response to the ‘favourite pop star’ question. Without giving too much away I am now wondering if Gaffer Bates is really the team joker. “Celery and umbrellas” indeed.

“My dad always told me he regretted giving up football at a young age and that has motivated me to keep working at it” says Andy of the biggest influence on his career. Maybe that’s why there’s no resting on laurels and his ambition is “to keep improving and help get Wembley back to the top end of the table, as we were a couple of years ago.”

Something that surprised me a little at both Andy and Martyn’s responses was that they had not heard any notable terrace songs in games in which they had played. I suppose it’s not entirely surprising they haven’t heard songs about themselves, not even all pro footballers get that accolade, but to not have heard any at all got me wondering. I don’t have a vast memory bank of FA Cup/non-league games but even I can remember some tunes. He says there’s “not usually enough people there to get any songs going” but I can only suspect that Andy is so immersed in the game that he doesn’t notice???

Last week we broached the topic of the magic of the cup and it’s individual nature. Like Martyn before him, Andy’s hope for future rounds was not to make the short trip to THE stadium itself and not to draw one of the big 4 or even the team he supports but a team that means something to him, his former club Horley Town. There’s a reality here, there’s a lack of the mediated response of footballers claiming their new club to be the one they’ve always dreamt of playing for. There’s no claims of an imminent title win, no boasts of supremacy, it’s all about bettering oneself, doing your best and enjoying it while respecting where you’ve come from and who got you there.

This is refreshing, it’s why we wanted to go to such games. It also may not be a revelation to many reading, maybe it is, but we’re new at this game and we like it.

Thanks again to Andy for taking time out from work to answer a few questions, it’s much appreciated, and good luck in today’s big kick off against Chertsey.

One final thing though. “It’s not about the good balls, it not about the bad balls, its all about the right balls.” This is apparently Andy’s favourite football cliche? Is this another in joke? Will one of his team mates please let us know?

Thanks to Andy Walker and also to Laura for facilitating the interview.

Guesty getting to the ball first

Name: Martyn Guest
Height: 6’0″
Weight: 14st
Previous Clubs: Tilbury, Bowers & Pitsea

Thanks to Martyn for being the first realfacup victim. We were as much interview virgins as, apparently, he was. Anyway, therealfacup could have talked to him for hours but he has a life, even if we don’t.

The confidence that comes with the new, the yet to unfold, can be a very short lived confidence, particularly in football. Going into this season at Basildon United Martyn thinks it could be a good one. After last year’s encouraging mid table finish, “the retention of players and manager mean this could be a good season” for the club. This could be a good cup run too, The Bees have fairly recently beaten their FA Cup opposition convincingly in last year’s FA Vase so they have nothing to fear from their perhaps better known opponents.

Whether he has the fear or not, Martyn says “he always respects the opposition” and his admiration for local rivals Bowers, Tilbury and Tiptree is clear, the latter he rates as his “toughest opponents”. ‘Guesty’ didn’t elaborate on why Tiptree are tough opponents, just that they are a good team. Neither was he specific about which players were toughest, which I’m happy to gloss over in favour of added mystery and we don’t want to give away his secrets. But, he’ll only have to wait until December for that particular tough fixture to come round again.

Job: General Builder
Car: Ford Transit
Nickname: Guesty
Favourite Player: David Beckham

As for the FA Cup, Martyn’s looking forward to it, he’s only played for the jug once before so can’t wait to get into it. Erith Town or Ampthill Town await in the next round and Leighton Town, Langford or Aylesbury in the 1st Qualifying Round but I asked him who he’d most like to get if they get through. Perhaps surprisingly, or maybe realistically, Martyn didn’t get all misty eyed and start dreaming of clashes with the big 4 or his favoured West Ham. Without hesitation, he went for Ryman Premier League side Hornchurch, because “I used to live there, so that would be good”.

Until 15th August, therealfacup will not see Martyn play but he modestly describes himself as “a no nonsense centre back, comfortable on the ball and can play a bit”. We’ll see what his team mates have to say if they read this, particularly Mr Poulter the below mentioned dressing room joker. That said, he tell us this with a matter-of-fact air, with realism and no sense of drama or arrogance. It sits comfortably alongside his Hornchurch wish for the Cup, his assertion that the biggest influences on his career are his friends and the down to earth realism for the season ahead. We’re building up a picture of a very amiable, honest, hard working guy happy with his lot and looking forward to the season.

‘Good effort’ is Martyn’s apt favourite football cliche, effort and application is clearly an important ethic for him and he’s quick to acknowledge the role that manager and fans play in that ethic. At the end of the interview he wanted to “thank the fans and manager for their support and good luck to Football 4 The Community”, the Basildon United community project.

Most Difficult Opponents: Tiptree
Favourite Team: West Ham
Basildon Utd Dressing Room Joker: Stephen Poulter
Pre-Match Meal: Beans On Toast
Favourite TV Show: Friends

Although thanking the fans that do come, I get the impression that Martyn would like the Football 4 The Community project to succeed in bringing more fans into the ground on match days and ramping up the atmosphere, a thought Ipm sure shared by his team mates and Chairman

I asked Martyn if the fans had any songs about him and he was either being coy or the Basildon fans need to sing a bit louder.

Drifting away from the immediate future, I asked Martyn about the gulf between the Essex Senior League and the very top of the pyramid. There was no trace of envy in his response, “I’m not too bothered earning a fortune from the game because I enjoy playing” but he conceded, with a chuckle, that he “wouldn’t turn it down if it came along”. Not in a rush to swap the Transit for a Ferrari in a hurry but Martyn did admit that if a bigger club came in for him he said he’d definitely think about testing himself at a higher level. Martyn’s too modest to say how far up the pyramid he could go but, if you’re reading, Alex Ferguson, he thinks your The Gaffer of gaffers.

Favoutie Pop Star: John Mayer
Favourite Food: Steak
Best Place Visited: Cancun, Mexico
Miscellaneous Likes: Playing Golf
Miscellaneous Dislikes: Stressing About Things

Again, thanks to Martyn for sparing us a few minutes of precious Friday evening time. I don’t think he noticed that I’d been drinking all day at the cricket and was a little worse for wear but, if he did, he didn’t laugh too loud.

Good luck Martyn, Basildon Utd and all teams playing for this year’s Cup

Damon

With thanks to Richard Mann, Andy Everett and the man himself, Guesty.